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I dont want my child

(26 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

TurtleBrains Sat 09-Dec-17 22:49:42

Anyone else feel the same way? I just don't want him growing up in a shit world

NSEA Sat 09-Dec-17 22:50:54

You do want your child. You just don’t want bad things to be happening in the world.

So maybe you raise your child to see all the good things and not focus om the bad?

RestingGrinchFace Sat 09-Dec-17 22:51:46

The world really isn't that bad.

Wolfiefan Sat 09-Dec-17 22:51:53

No. Lots of things in the world are shit but many more are amazing.
How old is DS?
TBH it sounds more like a depressed mind talking than your logical self. Have you sought help?

TrojansAreSmegheads Sat 09-Dec-17 22:52:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caulk Sat 09-Dec-17 22:52:14

Raise them to make a difference.

chocolatespiders Sat 09-Dec-17 22:52:48

It's a difficult one and I kind of agree. I won't be disappointed if my children don't have children!

Turtlebrains Tue 12-Dec-17 23:18:02

He's here and 8 weeks old. I'm on Prozac but it's just too much responsibility

FireflyGirl Tue 12-Dec-17 23:38:42

I think you need to reach out to your GP again.

There are crappy things going on in the world, yes, but there are good things too.

Do you mean looking after him is too much responsibility, or trying to make the world a better place for him?

PersianCatLady Tue 12-Dec-17 23:40:32

These feelings are temporary, they will pass.

Can you make a GP appointment for tomorrow?

Asmallrole Tue 12-Dec-17 23:53:27

That's your poorly brain talking. Go back to your doctor and reach out to just one person that you know by saying I feel ill and I need some help.

Turtlebrains Wed 13-Dec-17 00:28:28

I don't really want to engage with gp they'll think I'm nuts. I just feel a bit trapped and I want to be a good parent

Flowershower Wed 13-Dec-17 00:35:13

Your GP won't think you're nuts, they'll think that you're a woman with a tiny baby who needs help. So many of us have been there and out the other side and it does get better. Tell people how you are feeling - your family, your GP, your midwife, your health visitor. Ask for help, don't suffer on your own.

Turtlebrains Wed 13-Dec-17 01:14:21

I had antenatal depression too so I'm sure I'll raise concerns

outputgap Wed 13-Dec-17 01:22:38

Oh, turtle, you won't raise concerns. Good people will try to help you. There are so so many mothers who have these issues. One of the great things about blurting it out at my 6 week appointment was the lovely HV who reassured me how normal it is.

You don't need to suffer this. You deserve to feel happy again.

Turtlebrains Wed 13-Dec-17 01:32:26

My hv is useless and midwife is off sick

RonaldMcDonald Wed 13-Dec-17 01:56:31

I was totally overwhelmed by having my daughter
I didn't 'bond'
I was frightened and exhausted and she seemed pointless
I was also pretty deeply depressed and numb

I had a lot of therapy. Time sorted it out too

I hope you start to feel more able soon

mumonashoestring Wed 13-Dec-17 01:56:42

This is exactly what your GP is for - depression isn't the same as being mad, it can be caused by all sorts of things you have no control over. Your Dr knows that - they're not waiting to catch you out. Please go back and explain that whatever you're on at the moment isn't doing the trick and needs adjusting/changing. Often it's just a matter of finding the right drug and doaage for you - it doesn't mean your depression (or you for that matter) is any worse than anyone else's, your Dr just hasn't quite found the right treatment yet.

Gaudeamus Wed 13-Dec-17 02:13:11

Finding the right type and amount of psychiatric medication is very much a process of trial and error. What you're saying here suggests that your drug or your dose may need to be changed.

Please consult your GP. They're family doctors; you're a mum who's not well. They're there to help you get better.

Gaudeamus Wed 13-Dec-17 02:14:20

Apologies - x-post

LHReturns Wed 13-Dec-17 02:33:03

It took me 8 months to bond with my first son. I too had untreated antenatal depression. When my son arrived felt he had ruined my tidy perfect life and self identity. Eventually I needed Venlafaxine to allow me to move on from the dark tunnel. He is now 3 and I live to protect and package his view of the world as long as possible. I know how happy he is. He is my greatest happiness.

I had my second son 6 months ago and have remained on Venlafaxine. Things are much better this time around but I am still feeling guilt of not being as bonded yet, and guilt that I don't have more time for him....I am wondering when the special connection will happen. Currently he is a chubby happy blob. But I am reminded that babies aren't very exciting and he isn't that bothered by who gives him what he needs. Which makes me feel like a bad mother. Everyone said I would find it so easy to equally love my second child. Not quite there yet.

Maybe this agony is what women need to go through to ensure the real bond happens in all cases - at some point? I don't understand the women that feel the rush of love the moment the baby pops out. I am envious of them. I wanted that. Seems to take me so much longer.

OP can you fathom the idea that in time (some months possibly) you really may feel very differently and unil then you trial different medication and doses, and wait for the 'natural' human response to kick in? Forgive me if I am way off the mark here. I just would love to help. I too totally lost my direction in my first year after DS1.

NotAChristmasCakePop Wed 13-Dec-17 06:30:32

Just sending you a big hug. Please get some help.

Do you have a DP or mum/dad you can speak to? Life changes monumentally when a baby arrives even without MH issues and with a supportive partner or family.

You're not mad, you are ill and need compassion, support and possibly a change in medication.

Flowershower Wed 13-Dec-17 06:45:57

Good morning OP. Hope you've had an alright night - the sleep deprivation of a new baby is so hard. Please talk to someone today about how you're feeling - antenatal and postnatal depression are really common, it doesn't mean you're a bad mum, no-one is going to take your baby away - but you can and will get better if you get the help you need. X

Turtlebrains Wed 13-Dec-17 14:35:58

Thanks im going to stay on Prozac and see how it goes

LornaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 13-Dec-17 15:28:03

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

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