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Going through the motions.....(4 Posts)
Does anyone else feel like they're "just going through the motions" I seem to have detached any feeling from anything I do. My whole day consists of a mental checklist and everything I do just feels like a task....
I used to care about what I wore, now if it's classified as work wear, clean and dry it'll do... my job is stressful and demanding which requires lots of planning and sympathetic approaches - I used to thrive off this, however now it feels like I'm just getting through each day, my home is constantly in a 'that will do state' and the dinners I cook each night for my family are as kept as guilt free as possible by trying to limit any processed foods and including lots of fresh veg, but no real thought or love goes into them like I used to... as I said" it's just another job done "... I usually love preparing for Xmas, but I've turned it into a monstrous task of 'just getting it done' I look at all the wrapped up presents and don't feel any sense of excitement or achievement just another job off the list and start fretting about the next. I love my family sooo much, my children, husband and dogs, but most interaction at the moment just feels like a task... walk the dogs and tick it off the list, ask my husband how his day was and listen to his gripes or moans, tick it off the list, talk about my son's day and give some courtsory advice or feedback ...done. Is it just me that feels like this? Is it some kind of depression? If so, how can I feel again and enjoy my life ?
No, it's not just you. I think life just gets like that eventually - mundane, repetitive, a little dull. It's taken me a long time to realise that it's better, safer, like that. Safe is good. You have people, family, animals around you that you love, that are stable and safe. You don't get 'new and exciting' every day - believe me, I had stable and safe but I ruined it because it was boring and I ended up much, much worse off. I go through the motions now, but I go through them on my own as a single parent.
You and your husband need to get out of the rut that you've settled into. Do stuff together just the 2 of you, away from every day chores and responsibilities. Be spontaneous. Remind yourselves why you love each other, why you're committed to spending your lives together. Then the every day stuff won't be so mundane. Have you told him how you feel? Chances are he feels the same. Communicate, change things, make the effort to inject a bit of variety now and again. And most of all laugh together, be silly, have fun for a few minutes, get out of your rut. Good luck
Thank you for your response 2scompany. I know what you're saying about it being 'safe' I'm very very fortunate and that's what makes me question why I'm feeling nothing.... I love my husband, children and dogs... I have a stable life and no real worries. After writing it down yesterday it helped me put things into perspective a little, I think the issue is work and am finding it a bit overwhelming... to protect my sanity I think I've just made myself numb. I'll start there may be and see what happens ....
No problem, not sure if I was of any real help. I think it just comes down to the old adage of 'you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone' unfortunately. But it's so hard to see that until or unless you lose everything, and I certainly don't wish that on anyone. Safe is very often boring. The alternative, however, is so difficult and lonely - I don't recommend it. Take a step back and try to embrace what you've achieved so far. Look at your life through someone else's eyes, try to see a different point of view.
What's happening with work that's getting you down?
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