Feel like I'm checking out

[DeleteOrDecay]

I feel like I’m slowly checking out of life, it’s like I’ve ran out of spoons not just for the day but for life. I can’t seem to keep on top of anything and with Christmas coming up it’s all getting out of control. The house is a mess, I start jobs and then either finish half arsed or don’t finish them at all, there’s laundry everywhere and I haven’t bought one Christmas present yet. I’m exhausted and fed up with the grind. All I want to do is curl up in bed, check out of life for a bit and wait for it all to blow over. If only I didn’t have 2 young dc depending on me to keep things (just about) ticking over.

I wouldn’t even complain about a stay in hospital for a day or two. Anything just so I don’t have to have responsibilities for a while. It’s never ending.

Just needed to get that out. Hopefully I’m not alone?

[Wolfiefan]

Have you been diagnosed with depression? Have you any RL help?

[DeleteOrDecay]

Yes I am diagnosed and currently on sertraline 100mg.

[MissSV]

You’re not the only one, I feel like just packing up and disappearing, but also have 2 dc who needs me... life’s hard and struggling with anxiety! Sending love and hugs to you x

[Wolfiefan]

Have you been on them for long? Maybe time for a dose adjustment? Any CBT or other therapies offered?
It's horrid isn't it?

[DeleteOrDecay]

I started in January on 50mg, they were upped to 100 a few months ago. I was late picking up my last prescription so missed a few days which hasn’t helped I don’t think. I’m going to see how the next week goes with taking them regularly again and if there’s no improvements I’ll go back to the gp.

Thanks for the responses, so glad to know it’s not just me. I feel like a petulant child trying to avoid responsibility at times. Probably come across like one too if you saw me in real life. Dc2 had a 2hpur nap this afternoon and all I did was lay on the sofa instead of picking up toys, tidying the kitchen, you know actual productive stuff that would help me feel better if I just got up and did them.

Depression sucks.

[nameisnotuser]

I delete I was just going to start a post but you've just said everything I feel. I'm I've checked out of work and home I just can't be bother d to do anything. I spend most of my time sleeping, on Mumsnet or fighting intrusive thoughts about self harming. I feel Ike I'm just doing the basics for my DS.
I've recently changed to paraoxatine that's just making me drowsy.

[Wolfiefan]

You are not a petulant child. You're an adult who isn't well!
Yes missing a few pills can do that. Hopefully it will pick up.

[DeleteOrDecay]

Thanks Wolfie. I know I’m not, but I can see how it might look that way to others on the outside, iykwim?

Anyway, took the dc to soft play after picking eldest up from school, couldn’t face cooking so they had something there. I don’t think it helps that I’ve had a dodgy stomach since the weekend and keep getting waves of nausea (def not pregnant). I’m sure I feel more rundown than usual as a result as I’ve not been able to eat properly.

[Wolfiefan]

The eating thing can be linked to the depression.
Never mind anyone else. Do what you can and focus on getting you well. CBT and exercise (and the pills!) were my saviour. I was in a really bad place.
Getting out is good. It's fine to eat out. I bet they loved it!