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Mental health

I think I'm at breaking point.

7 replies

NarcissaBlack · 19/11/2017 14:28

(I've name changed for this, but I've been around for a while.) Things have been simmering for a while. I've been married for just over three years but my marriage is on its last legs. I've accepted this and know I need to move on, and to do this I need to save up, but I can't. I spend all my spare money on stupid stuff. I'm part of a faith community who are my main support network, which I seem to be trying to sabotage at the moment (I haven't been going to church for a month now). I've become incredibly antisocial and want to shut myself off from the world, I just can't handle people at the moment. My job involves being around lots of people, and that just wipes me out, and I find myself really short tempered when I'm at work I have a history of depression and self harm, I've started cutting myself again, and yet I don't cry, I don't feel depressed, I just feel angry, at myself, my husband, and at the things going on in the world that I can't do anything about. This morning I lost my favourite pen and that felt like the last straw.
This is also affecting my physical health, my IBS keeps flaring up and my heart races and I feel short of breath when I feel particularly stressed or upset.

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Bella8 · 19/11/2017 14:34

Hi, have you been to the GP? You could ask for a telephone appointment and have a chat to get some advice & maybe some meds/therapy to help you. It's awful when you're feeling upset and panicky. I think you owe it to yourself to get the help tounneed especially when you're feeling it's affecting your physical health. I hope you feel better soon x

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Bella8 · 19/11/2017 14:34

you need*

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NarcissaBlack · 19/11/2017 14:57

Hi Bella, thank you for your advice. I've just got a message from one of the ladies from church, I think I need to let them know what's going on as well. And I'm going to phone my doctor tomorrow. It feels like I'm having a faith crisis on top of everything else, although if that happens I think I'll end up what I was before. I feel like I've regressed back to my 15 year old self! And I don't want to feel as bad as I did then.

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Bella8 · 19/11/2017 15:06

You are welcome, that's great I think the GP will be able to help as well as chatting to friends. I think people will just want to support you. It's diffocult but you may find talking to some of your church friends helpful as i bet most of them have all suffered a crisis of faith from time to time. I think life can affect us all in positive ways but also negative too... you may have more in common than you realise.

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NarcissaBlack · 19/11/2017 15:32

I'm sure I do, I know people who have gone through divorces and stuff. I just feel so tired right now. I need to go and put my room back together after tearing it apart to look for that damn pen.

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Bella8 · 19/11/2017 15:42

If you're not happy on your marriage it's not
Worth staying together for any amount of time . Maybe you're getting stressed about the little things like finding a pen because you're procrastinating. Instead of spending money on silly things save up as you'll be happier in the long run. Talk to those who've been through divorces..it'll help.