Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Tokophobia

(11 Posts)
Relaxing2 Sat 11-Nov-17 13:49:10

Hi I'm 19 weeks pregnant and been having suffering panic attacks and anxiety really bad it's taking over me I'm always thinking negative things that I can't get out my head I'm scared to give birth keep thinking there is going be complications it's a horrible circle keep going round and round any with any experience or any advise to help me please I'm going crazy

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 15:35:39

Hi, I would recommend that you have a chat with your GP because in certain circumstances there are things they can give you with less risk too baby than stress. Awww you poor thing, don't be scared, honestly it's really not as bad as you imagine. I'm a FTM to 8 month DS and I was petrified. I must have made like 5 birth plans as I kept changing it. I wanted a water birth with no epidural and no interventions or drugs apart from gas and air. In the end I went 2 weeks over due and ended up getting induced, had a 22 hour complicated labour strapped to bed with heart monitor on baby and screaming for an the epidural I swore I wouldn't have half way through. The gas and air made me sick so that went out the window. The reason I didn't want an epidural is because it can increase risk of intervention forceps etc. But you know what I got the baby out without any intervention despite feeling nothing from the waist down and I would get an epidural again in a heart beat.
My point is plans change but you just go with it and sometimes it can work out for the best. You have to just go with it at the time and do the best you can. i didn't care about the labour, the trauma or the pain once I was staring into the eyes of my beautiful baby. All I felt was pure euphoria. Enjoy it; it is the most amazing feeling meeting this little person you've created for the first time l!

DenPerry Sat 11-Nov-17 15:40:01

I was the same OP and asked for c-sections, best thing I’ve done.

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 15:47:56

DenPerry I asked for a c section at the start as I was so scared of complications and they declined but now I'm pleased I didn't have it. My birth nearly ended up in emergency c section and I'm grateful it didn't. But to be honest I don't think there's a nice way both ways are tough! As long as the baby is out safely is the main thing and a happy Mummy.

Relaxing2 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:09:28

Hi I'm already on steraline 100mg I'm so petrified I keep thinking the worst I won't make it or something I've had two children already but I can't face pain either very worries about going in to labour and birth but a cs scares me too I'm breaking down I'm so scared I spoke to my doctor who just said we don't no the furture so stop thinking that far ahead xx

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 16:54:53

Relaxing2 Just think women give birth every single day all over the world and are fine. You have two DC already like you say and you were fine then weren't you? Nothing happened to you. So it isn't going to this time either. All that will change is that you will be Mummy to a third beautiful baby! When ever you get these feelings tell yourself it's your mind playing tricks on you and it's so silly. Anxiety is like a monster and it's always there but don't feed the monster and give it fuel!

Relaxing2 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:20:00

Aww Hun thank you that was lovely of you to say it's very hard to stop the thinking isn't it I do try and today I've just broken down

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:44:11

It's very difficult and nobody understands unless they suffer from it. I have a relative that suffers from alot of mental health problems so I totally get how dehabilitating l it can be. Also I've had post partum anxiety since DS was born worsening at about 5 months post partum manifesting in nocturnal panic attacks!l 😬 Anxiety is hell on earth but the thoughts aren't fact, they're fake and tricks of the mind. I found the thing that helped me was to accept I have anxiety and I may get another attack but it can do its worst to me as I'm not going to let it ruin my life. Anxiety and all the irrational worries it brings can go away; it's not welcome!

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:46:31

Oh and yes you get your good days and bad days as you have today but it won't ruin every day huni and I know easier sod than done but don't let it. It's just a stupid voice in your head and it isn't fact. Fact is your walking out that hospital with your gorgeous baby number 3 and thinking what the hell easni worrying about!?! 😃👍🏼

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:46:46

said*

Bella8 Sat 11-Nov-17 17:47:38

You* Was i* sorry about the typos

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: