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Scared to go back to work, scared of the future, scared of the present

(1 Post)
NooNooHead Thu 09-Nov-17 22:19:35

Thank you for the replies you gave to my post about my worries about regrets I have about my past. It does seem to be impacting quite a bit on my current MH, and i’m nearly 8 weeks pregnant with DC2, at what should be a happy time.

I’m unemployed and unsuccessfully looking for work since August, am scared of finding a job with my movement disorder and after my head injury two years ago, I don’t feel as capable cognitively or professionally/mentally as I once was.

I am going to keep applying forc copywriting jobs abd similar roles but equally I am applying for different roles in other industries like retail etc. Working with new people doesn’t faze me, it’s others’ opinions of my odd involuntary movements that do worry me. All most probably unfounded worries, but worries nonetheless.

And then there is the small issue of when to raise my pregnancy with my DP, who are bankrolling me at the moment. I’m sure they will be most pleased to know I am bringing another life into the world without a job. They are incredibly supportive and loving people but have been through so much in the past two years, and when my DB passed away this year. I’d hate for them to worry even more about their only child.

It will probably all be ok, and I will sit here in a year wondering what on Earth I was scared about, but it doesn’t stop the stressing a lot of the time. Oh, and there is the worry of a healthy pregnancy of course, and all the anxieties about miscarriage etc. Since my ectopic in March, i’m extra cautious about this pregnancy going well until my 12 week scan.

I’m not sure what i’m hoping to get out of this post, but it is good to have a moan every now and again.

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