Ex left me 9 years ago for one of the girls he cheated with. She tormented and harassed me, demanded he had nothing to do with our DS and he basically didn't until 2 years ago.
He constantly lies to me. Him, his mum and sister always gaslight me. I'm soo hurt and upset because i saw pictures he put up of his family (he recently had 2 kids with her) and its like he never cared about us. He hardly sees DS and when he came on Saturday he said he'd see him this week but then gave me an excuse as to why he can't, yet he'd turn up quickly if i was to allow him to spend time with me. Over the years he's claimed to love me, have made a mistake, regretted it all and wanted me back but he hurt me soo much and lied to me i couldn't trust or be with him again.
Between 2014-16 we had zero contact and it was the happiest period in my life. I worked so hard to get myself back as he really destroyed my confidence and self esteem which is at zero again . I only recently saved his number and thats how i saw the pics on whatsapp. I'm soo hurt, I'm starting to feel like I'm never good enough, i never meant anything to him and she is so much better than me. His mum claims he's unhappy etc but really who'd stay if so unhappy, he makes it out like hes unhappy too but he lies soo much i can't believe him.
Im 31 and this has been going on since i was 22! I've been terrified to date again and remained single. I feel like he's ruined my life, I'll never have a family unit even with someone else because im not good enough and fear they will leave me for someone else too. How cruel our 2nd child i lost on which is now the day of his first child with her birthday! Im sure he doesn't care or remember and i won't bring it up as i don't want to ruin the LO birthday its unfair as LO is innocent and my DS sibling - even though they never see each other as the mum wont allow it. You'd think i was the OW the way she behaves!
DS is 13 and has a mobile for their own contact but ex will contact and bother me instead. I had to move 7 years ago because he kept turning up at my place and even my neighbour's and my mums looking for me! I feel cursed like I'm just destined to be miserable while they live happily ever after. I can't see a way out other than ending my life. I've tried counselling, antidepressants, going NC etc NOTHING WORKS! I'm crying and it shouldn't be this way. I'm just fed up! I leave my ex to his life, i don't interfere, i allowed him to reduce CM as he claims he's struggling - this even after his mum verbally abused me.
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Mental health
I feel like ending it all i can't take it anymore
8 replies
ImDazedandConfused · 03/11/2017 00:12
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