Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Does anyone else feel that they just cannot deal with everyday life?

(12 Posts)
sunflowersandroses Thu 02-Nov-17 18:33:39

I'm trying to understand myself/my mental health a bit more to understand why I seem to go through such frequent dramatic dips in mood in a typical month.

As a bit of background, f you ask my family, although I was a happy child, it was also not unusual for me to be very moody. I've always been quite a deep thinker and can get carried away with overthinking things and feeling anxiety in situations where nothing has happened e.g. after a conversation with someone I will often worry for hours after that something I said offended/upset them, even though they gave no indication that it did, and I have to consciously switch these thoughts off. Throughout my teens I went through what in hindsight I now think were bouts of depression where it was not unusual for me to feel overwhelming sadness and thoughts about how it would be easier to not be here (was bullied, but also felt this at times when nothing had happened to 'trigger' it so to speak). Fast forward to my 20s and I have had 2 quite serious periods of depression (one was a build up of unhappiness at uni) which lasted for roughly 2/3 months each time, and I did seek counselling (for the last time).

My counsellor at the time suggested that my depression could stem from unresolved issues from bullying and together (I thought) we worked through this. Yet I still just don't seem to be able to break this cycle of such low periods. It scares me how one day I can be absolutely fine and then I am absolutely miserable and deeply unhappy for a week, having awful thoughts. I genuinely don't think I am able to cope with everyday life like everyone else, and that I find it much more difficult to maintain my mental health. I often wonder how people make it to later stages of life and get through it all, because I just seem to struggle so much. To go through feeling like this for the rest of my life just feels unbearable. I also get the impression that those I have discussed it with find me pathetic so I don't tend to talk it about it anymore.

I try to practice as much self-care as possible but then I hit a low and I'll just do the exact opposite like this week.

I am not the most upbeat positive person in the world anyway, (and this post is in NO way meant to undermine depression by suggesting people are 'just' moody) -- I am saying this because I am trying to work out whether I am a person who just naturally sees the glass as half empty which impacts my mood greatly, or whether I am someone who may always go through/be prone to bouts of depression and that this is something I need to accept . I just wondered if anyone else has ever felt like me.Thanks for reading and sorry for the long post.

starlightsky Sun 05-Nov-17 21:34:54

I struggle, despite seemingly coping to others around me. I have a family and have also just returned to work after being a SAHM. I’m not coping at all. Mine is more anxiety based (I think), but I also suffer with low mood. Work has sent it all through the roof. I just want to stay at home.

Medication is the only thing that has helped me in the last. I’ve only been off of it for around 5 months.

I can’t offer you any words of wisdom, I’m afraid. Have you discussed it with your GP recently?

polkadott30 Mon 06-Nov-17 18:53:10

I often feel I cannot cope with life. I think in my case it is related to trauma. Flashing back emotionally to a feeling of helplessness and powerlessness.

polkadott30 Mon 06-Nov-17 18:53:58

sunflowersandroses flowers cake

idlevice Mon 06-Nov-17 20:41:32

Have you tried ADs? Even though you describe your feelings as cyclic ADs could still be beneficial so I would definitely recommend seeing a psychiatrist to discuss this option if you haven't already.

DumbleDee Mon 06-Nov-17 20:59:00

I feel exactly the same. There are no triggers for me. Well none that I can identify. I too have always been moody.

I tried Setraline about 6 months ago when the anxiety catastrophising constant checking lack of sleep got too much. During that time I did a lot of reading about anxiety and recognising those behaviours as being anxiety related helped me cope with them. GP refused to extend my setraline prescription beyond 2 months and I’m slipping back to where I was. Constantly on the verge of tears no motivation to do anything mourning the passage of time whilst also conscious that I’m wasting time. If you get any answers or insight let me know xxxx

starlightsky Tue 07-Nov-17 17:55:39

DumbleDee, what was his basis for refusal? If it helped, it’s not really ethical to discontinue it unless there is some medical reason.

DeleteOrDecay Tue 07-Nov-17 18:09:30

I can relate, I often feel this way too and I have always been a bit ‘moody’ so I’m now wondering if it’s on my nature (which would suck, a lot). Life seems like a slog the majority of the time. I also have suspected asd but I have yet to persue a diagnosis for this so I don’t know for sure.

Sorry not much help, but you’re not alone. It’s absolutely horrible not being able to cope with every day life the way everyone else seems to.

slothface Tue 07-Nov-17 18:21:20

Yes, I can really relate to this. I just have no motivation or drive or desire to even take basic care of myself. Just getting out of bed at a decent time is a mammoth task, I genuinely have no idea how people manage to work, socialise, clean their house, do laundry, look nice, take care of kids and have hobbies. I barely manage even doing one of those things and I find it so exhausting I need to sleep for an entire day after

DumbleDee Tue 07-Nov-17 18:27:25


I saw a different GP he gave me a lecture on becoming over reliant and I didn’t have an argument in me.

I need to go back x

AureliaDeLuca Tue 07-Nov-17 19:00:59

Hello DumbleDee...just to echo what Starlightsky said your GP should not have stopped your sertraline like that. They are not addictive and to get the real benefit the guidelines say you should stay on them for at least 6 months minimum, possibly several years if necessary. They take 6 to 8 weeks to even work fully in the first place! Definitely go back and see a different GP.
(PS I am a doctor and on sertraline!!)

Grammar Wed 08-Nov-17 11:17:32

I was going to start (another) thread about loneliness but came across this thread.
I too, struggle with low mood and find it so hard to be motivated to do anything on my day off (work 8-3pm 4 days/week). My counsellor encourages me to 'feel' the mood, recognise it for what it is, and try not to be frightened by it. I too, am on Citalapram. I really don't know whether it works as I am fine sometimes and other times, almost suicidal.
I have a lovely home, a loving husband (but very driven and successful and out quite a lot). I have 3 children, (one (DD) in Beijing, third year studying Chinese at Cambridge),my DS who has just left home for Bristol uni, Physics,and another DD 15 who is doing GCSEs in June. She doesn't speak to me unless she has to (we used to be very close). I know the reason.
I drink.
I realise alcohol is a depressant, but I am an 'instant gratification' person (think the' Marshmallow Test' in the 60's, I'd have failed it).
My mother was depressed in her 50's and drank (though not as badly as I do) and now aged 87 is thriving and happy.
I go to AA (couple of meetings a week) but have lost my sponsor right from the word go, as she has had to move to London temporarily to support her son with mental health problems).
I know what I need to do. Stop drinking. Am dreading Christmas, which I shouldn't as DS and DD are back from uni/Beijing respectively.
Am educated, have a validating job in the NHS and few people (patients/employer) that I am so inadequate.
So look at my life, isn't it perfect?
But I am so lonely and so frightened of my feelings (therefore I try to blunt them).
Mornings are the worst esp on a Wed (day off), which I should look forward to.
I so wish I could build some resilience. I read about other people and think 'pull yourself together'. I am healthy (but won't be for much longer if I carry on drinking). I have three healthy children and a husband and a few friends.
I completely get the lack of motivation, I dread even showering and looking after myself.
The rest of the family are well looked after though. I cook from scratch mostly, and everyone has clean clothes.
I was a perfectionist mother when the children were small and tried to do everything right. So many of us are simply trying to survive. I really think we should all be kinder to one another, instead of the prevailing attitude of judgement. I know I am a kind person, but so flawed and sad.
Thank you for reading.
Courage, DumbleDee and Sandr. You are not alone, as so many feel we are. Your posts resonated with me.
Now need to get the motivation to do some housework and out to an AA meeting at 12:30

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: