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Depression and intimacy

(1 Post)
emptyusername Sun 29-Oct-17 18:22:35

Hi smile..

I struggle to put how I feel into words, so please bare with me.

So I’ve had depression & anxiety for 3 years now. Never had medication for it, but CBT has helped a huge amount. I used to cry at night scared someone was going to break in our home and kill us all. I don’t have those thoughts anymore, so I’m in a better place thanks to CBT. I’m thankfully no longer house bound, and I get out on a daily basis and actually talk to people. I no longer cry every night, and I actually smile during the day now.

My depression and anxiety is still there, but I’m not keen on taking anti depressants. I’m sure you’ll understand that my anxiety makes me worry about taking medication, due to the possible side effects. I have two small children, and DH works very long hours, so I’d really worry about my ability to care for them whilst taking anti depressants. I may change my mind in future, but for now I’d rather not go on them.

I feel ok, but I don’t show much emotion. I don’t let this affect the kids, and I’m always engaging with them happy and positive (but I have to put it on IYSWIM). My friend and family don’t know I have depression and anxiety (except my DH), and don’t treat me as if they suspect it, so I don’t show I have all these feelings inside. They just think I’m shy.

I don’t have any hobbies, and don’t leave the house without the kids. It doesn’t really help. I only have one friend who I see weekly for a couple of hours with her kids, but I enjoy this.

I adore my DH, but we are starting to have problems. I have never been that ‘into’ sex (not just with him - anyone), so although we had sex it wasn’t frequently. I have some hormonal problems, which caused this, but I am on medication and bloods are in normal range so it shouldn’t be the cause anymore.

Since having depression and anxiety I wouldn’t even entertain the thought of having sex. I don’t even want to be touched, or looked at in that way. I love my DH so so much, and wouldn’t want anyone else. He is such a kind amazing man, and I wouldn’t change him except maybe helping with housework a little more.

I’d really be interested in hearing from people who have been through similar. What helped you? Do you now enjoy it?
I need our relationship to survive this, and although I’m not worried about him straying or leaving me, I worry about how it will affect us as a couple and a family.

Ps I am seeing the gp tomorrow, but would like to hear from people who have been through the same or similar.

Thank you for reading.

Also posted elsewhere.

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