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Should I see someone about this?

(7 Posts)
NameChangeforWorryPost Wed 18-Oct-17 19:23:27

I think I know the answer already, the question is more "who". First time here so be gentle.
Firstly, I have no real reason to worry about anything. I have 3 beautiful children, loving husband, decent job, good health - the works. But I struggle with fairly irrational fears, which lead to what I think are panic attacks. I've always felt like this, but recently it's starting to impact on the way I am with my children.
At the moment I'm worried about Artificial Intelligence and digital development generally. It feels as though technology is moving too fast and nobody's asking if we want it or keeping it in check. DH works in digital advertising, and the speed of development there is frankly terrifying. In the evenings particularly I struggle to give the children my full attention because I can't stop worrying - about the future of technology, what Trump is doing, what's happening in Korea etc etc etc. I think it's the helplessness that really bothers me, that things are happening in the world - to me and my family - that I cannot control. I worry about nuclear Armageddon, alien invasion, etc to the point where I've recently bought a paper road map of the uk, just incase we need to escape. I don't want to be this person.
For many years I had an irrational fear of death . I know death is something that many people fear but I got a bit obsessed with what actually happens, how people die, what happens to the body and so on. I still have very odd thoughts, for example if I see a screwdriver I automatically think of all the horrible accidents it might cause.
I remember being a teenager and crying and shaking with fear while my mum tried to calm me down, I was so scared of living and dying and "what ifs". I still have moments like this, but now it's my husband who calms me down. I've never self harmed in any way and have always just distracted myself. During the day I'm fine, it's just when I'm tired (or drunk. I've all but given up drinking now though, mainly because of this.)
None of the things I worry about affect my day to day life. I don't panic about leaving the gas on or anything like that. It's the huge, existential problems that get me. I think that's why I've never got help. The rational side of me knows I'm being ridiculous. Who goes to a doctor and says "I'm worried about the end of the world"? But it is starting to impact on me and my family.
So, what do I do? And does anyone have a name for this, or a similar experience? Thank in advance x

olddogsnewtricks Wed 18-Oct-17 19:29:25

Hello! Actually you sound a lot like me! My dr has told me it's GAD so general anxiety but I think from reading it is more OCD in that I get persistent intrusive thoughts. Part of me thinks that actually I am the rational one - the world is bloody scary! However, I would like to cope with it better. I am a lot worse when I am tired and some evenings my senses feel so heightened that I can't cope with family life and have to go off on my own. I have confided in a friend and she feels the same! Sorry not much help but you are not alone.

NameChangeforWorryPost Wed 18-Oct-17 19:32:07

Thank you, that's good to know. Did your doctor give you any advice?!

olddogsnewtricks Wed 18-Oct-17 19:40:12

Not really. Just "do more exercise" and he also suggested group therapy (which I didn't go to as I thought the idea sounded horrendous...) I am thinking of trying CBT but would have to pay for it myself and it's expensive.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough Wed 18-Oct-17 19:43:51

Hi your post is very much how I use to feel! I went to the gp had a course of cbt and I’m on meds’ now (citalopram).
Go see the gp and talk to them 😀

Littlechocola Wed 18-Oct-17 19:45:22

GP as first port of call.

spacechimp Wed 18-Oct-17 20:13:15

I know exactly how you feel. I'm struggling with much the same type of anxiety at the moment - all existential, end of the world type fears about everything you mention other than artificial intelligence, though if I started reading about that then no doubt I'd be terrifying myself about that as well.

I reached crisis point a few weeks ago and saw my GP and have just started a course of CBT which I am paying for - I was desperate. I've had problems with anxiety most of my life, though usually focused on health - mine and those of family. I've usually been able to muddle through episodes and had periods of being more or less ok in between. This is the first time I've had such bad anxiety about things that aren't health related though I guess all my worries centre on death or loss.

I know I have GAD with strong elements of OCD and this is what I'm working through with therapist. GP did suggest anti anxiety meds but I'm trying to do without for now and having complete news and social media ban, mindfulness app everyday, exercise, and distracting myself with undemanding tv and books. The anxiety is still there and obviously the global issues are still there and I don't really know how to cope with that other than to avoid thinking about them. Not a sustainable solution but I was driving myself into a complete state before and CBT is going to take a while to work. Definitely see your GP in the first instance and be kind to yourself. Anxiety is horrible

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