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DH totally changed since taking citalopram

(9 Posts)
biddyboo Thu 12-Oct-17 15:54:00

DH was diagnosed with depression during the summer. I had our second daughter last year and our relationship suffered quite a lot due to stress, exhaustion and just having no time for each other. He had been showing symptoms of depression for a while so I finally persuaded him to see a counsellor. After a couple of months with her she suggested he see the gp as his depression score wasn't improving. He started taking citalopram in July. He has had really bad side effects. He started on 20mg, moved up to 40mg which gave him terrible anxiety and panic attacks (which he never had before) so is back at 20mg now. He has really changed since he has been taking them. He doesn't get stressed and angry anymore but he doesn't feel much of anything else either. He has said that he doesn't love me in the same way anymore and has also said that he doesn't get that surge of love for our children but just feels that he is going through the parenting motions. He has said and done things in the last few months that have left me feeling devastated but acts like he couldn't care less. Previously, he was very kind. I feel like I'm losing him. Is it normal for antidepressants to make someone this?

foofooyeah Thu 12-Oct-17 16:00:17

I cannot remember the ones my husband took but it caused him to be terribly angry. He had to come off them pretty sharpish.

I think different anti Ds can affect different people different ways and I would be inclined to go back to the GP to discuss.

biddyboo Thu 12-Oct-17 16:04:19

He did go back to the gp a few weeks ago and she recommended he come down from 40 to 20 and stay on 20 for a while. He doesn't have the anxiety side effects as bad now but still has the emotional numbness on 20mg

MoonlightMedicine Thu 12-Oct-17 16:04:30

I'm on citalopram and I definitely haven't ever experienced this but they affect everybody differently. He should definitely talk to the doctor. Sounds so stressful for you OP.

Misty9 Thu 12-Oct-17 16:09:23

Citalopram is known for giving people this numb feeling, but it generally wears off after a couple of months. I would.encourage him to push for a change in meds. Has he carried on with the counselling too?

Ferfukzsake Thu 12-Oct-17 16:16:41

Hi Biddyboo

I take between 20mg to 40mg of citalopram depending on my MH needs. I find that it affects my 'filters', which I think is kind of the point. I do realise though that I can be too honest and blunt, especially to loved ones. It has got better the longer that I have been on them (years now). I doubt very much that your DH is less in love with you and your DC's, it's just that the medication is affecting his ability to feel strong feelings. AD's can take a while to work in alleviating the depression itself.

I have tried lot's of AD's - prozac made me very aggressive, especially if I had a drink (I would square up to people for the slightest thing - I'm only 5'3" and squared up to a 6' rugby player once and had to be pulled away before I hit him!). Citalopram for me personally has been the best solution, although the side effects can be the sense of 'non-feeling' that your DH has.

Maybe the difference with me is that I have cottoned on to the effects and realise that it is the AD's that make me feel the way I do, not the people around me?

Good luck to you both.

meltingmarshmallows Thu 12-Oct-17 16:20:05

I felt the same way as him when I took it. Completely numb, I didn’t have feelings for anyone or anything anymore it was so weird.

I hated that numb feeling but it gave me the rest from anxiety and depression I needed to start counselling etc. I came off it as soon as I safely could.

It is a recognised side effect / effect as far as I know. I remember finding info online about it so perhaps ensure he’s speaking with someone and is aware of that ... The lack of love is not likely to be how he really feels. And perhaps being aware of that will help?

trevthecat Thu 12-Oct-17 16:23:44

I'm on citalopram and don't feel like this. I would advise he speaks to gp and change medication. He can't carry in living a numb life like that

biddyboo Thu 12-Oct-17 16:46:13

Thank you everyone. I have asked him if he is happy to carry on like this and he said that he is not happy but it's 'easy'. I think he is still depressed as well but just cares less about everything now. He is seeing a counsellor privately but unfortunately can't afford to see her very often, once a month or thereabouts. He can access counselling for free through his employer. He is going to look in to it but it would mean starting again with a new counsellor and it's also limited to 6 sessions I think so it wouldn't be longterm. Could 6 sessions still be beneficial?
He has talked about moving out and I feel that if he did it would be so easy to just cut us off emotionally completely. I really want to save our relationship but I don't know how much of what he says is because of his depression and the medication or if it's how he truly feels. He kissed someone else on a night out last month. I saw some very rambling messages on his phone that he had sent her. I'm so heartbroken. Perhaps I'm being naive but I genuinely feel that his old self would never have done that; it just wasn't the type of thing he would do. Maybe I'm just making excuses. The only time he shows any emotion is if he has been drinking (self medicating is another issue he's working on) and then it all comes flooding out and he talks about not being good enough and how sorry he is

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