Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Help need advice and someone to talk to

(7 Posts)
Newaroundhre Sat 07-Oct-17 00:52:58

Bit of background I have depression and anxiety that is very up and down at the moment.

So I have just found out that my DP has met up with some girl behind my back! I'm devastated we have a 20mo DD, have just moved house to an area where I know no one but he does and I'm supposed to start a new job! My family and friends are all miles away! I don't know what to do!
Currently laying in bed silently crying!
He doesn't know I know, I've only just found out and he's sleeping.

I'm fighting every urge to wake him and scream at him, or to run away and never come back as clearly he doesn't want/need me!

MrMagnoliasBoot Sat 07-Oct-17 01:20:07

I am so sorry you have found this out. What a complete cunt! Is there anyone you can talk to in real life? Can you go stay at your mums?

BrokenBattleDroid Sat 07-Oct-17 01:30:49

Oh you poor thing. Hugs and a handhold for you flowers

What sort of meeting up is it do you think? Definitely dodgy or has anxiety possibly jumped the gun and assumed the worst? I would say keep quiet until you've thought this through a bit, and ideally talked it through with a friend. Always best to keep your cards close to your chest if you think he's cheated/planning to.

Don't let the anxiety take over - this WILL all be ok but there's probably a small storm to ride out first. Batten down your emotional hatches as best you can and remember that you don't need anyone that can hurt you. Happiness is totally achievable without him and this WILL pass.

Lots of posters with practical help will be along I'm sure. Hang in there flowers

Newaroundhre Sat 07-Oct-17 01:33:37

He's been messaging her A LOT, met her to fuck her and told her he loves her! Not my anxiety at all! I have no one IRL to talk to, family is miles away and don't have many friends. If I was to go anywhere I would have to confront him about everything, otherwise it would raise too many questions

ElsieMay123 Sat 07-Oct-17 01:41:21

If you're still awake (and I hope you managed to get to sleep) you can call the Samaritans if there is somewhere to do it in private and you need to hear kind words. They can be very helpful. Honestly when I had depression night time was the worst time. I think it's to do with sleeping hormones or something but everything seemed so much worse at night. 'Fight or flight' is a very powerful urge, but 'deep breaths and some rest' might be better for now.

Have you had any treatment for depression and anxiety? Please do if not, it can make the world of difference and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) can really help put things into perspective, so you can figure out if your upset is justified or whether it's your illness that is making things so much harder to deal with.

BrokenBattleDroid Sat 07-Oct-17 01:43:22

Oh no, it's horrendous coming across that sort of betrayal, I'm so sorry. Wasn't meaning to sound patronising about your anxiety, I just know it can jump two steps ahead sometimes, clearly not in your case.

Given the severity of what he's done I'd say it's mouth shut until ducks are in a row time. Focus on the practicalities of ensuring YOU will be financially secure etc for now, and let your anger simmer (anger can be productive, sinking into depression is often less so).

You can do this.

ElsieMay123 Sat 07-Oct-17 01:43:54

ah cross post, well he's a dick then. but now is not the time to have it out, so rest, re-group and make the best exit plan you can?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now