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Mental health

Depression post menopause

3 replies

azealeas123 · 24/09/2017 09:29

I am hoping someone in the same situation might be able to help. I am post menopausal. In the past few years I have been suffering from depression, sometimes it is worse than others. i have a difficult family situation, with an adult son with mental health problems living at home. husband recently retired, we are living in limbo in rented waiting to find somewhere to buy, but don't know where to move to and can't find a house . I have no real friends, apart from a couple of people who I WhatsApp for mutual support. One lives abroad, and the other has massive issues of her own and is very needy and draining. I don't have good relationships with my mother or sister.
I have worked for myself for the past few years, but don't want to do that anymore, it''s too isolating. I can't get a job doing anything really as I have no current experience or skills, and no references.
Basically, i feel like i am going mad. I am really lonely, exhausted and feel trapped all day in the house with my husband who is trying to adjust to retirement and my very challenging son who is home all day too. I have other children who are lovely but very stressed with their lives and need my support. I have no one to support me apart from my husband, who I think is also depressed.
I am demoralised by physical changes brought on by the menopause, and have been suffering very low energy and health issues lately, having been very healthy all my life up to now.
To be honest, I often feel I would rather be dead. I am trying to join groups etc, but I have spent years doing that and am fed up with it, especially in an area we are only living in temporarily. We are living in a very quiet, rural area where I see no one , not even on walks!

I have had counselling in the past but not found it helpful. I don't want to take antidepressants as I know a lot of my feelings are about my situation. I feel better when I am away from home. I have talked to the GP and found them hopeless.
I s anyone else in this situation?

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AuntyElle · 25/09/2017 21:29

That sounds an awful lot to be coping with.
Just one part of the picture: have you looked at taking HRT? There is lots of help on the 'menopause matters' forum, and info about the link between menopause and increased depression/anxiety.
Also, although they are not cure-alls, both CBT and mindfulness meditation aim to help you cope with the situation you are in and your responses to it, whatever it is.
I really like this guide, which links the two:
<a class="break-all" href="//www.amazon.co.uk/dp/074995308X/ref=as_li_tf_til?camp=1406&creative=6394&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=074995308X&adid=0C65KDVEXA3E12FA555K&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">//www.amazon.co.uk/dp/074995308X/ref=as_li_tf_til?camp=1406&creative=6394&linkCode=as1&creativeASIN=074995308X&adid=0C65KDVEXA3E12FA555K&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

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azealeas123 · 26/09/2017 19:17

I really don't want to take HRT. I have done lots of research and read the menopause matters website, also looked into Mindfulness but I need to go to a class or something I think. Thank you for replying!

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AuntyElle · 26/09/2017 23:20

Sure. Where I live you can refer yourself to the 'Wellbeing College' who run regular free Mindfulness courses, along with lots of other stuff. In other areas I've seen them called Recovery Colleges.

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