When there is no one who will hug you and say everything is ok- utter loneliness

[fluffygal]

I hit myself in the head tonight with an aerosol can repeatedly, DP's boot (not on his foot at the time) and my hands. My head is covered in lumps. I have used my hair pin to scratch my arm.

There is no one to just give me a hug and tell me everything is ok. DP has just gone to bed and gets angry if I get upset which escalates things for me making me do things to myself. I feel so lonely- there is no one I can think of who I would contact to support me. This was after walking down a pitch Black Country road on my own hoping to get hit by a car. Everything feels so bad but in the morning life will be back to normal except I can't sleep so morning is taking too long.....

[deaddeadgood]

Oh bless you. Have a big virtual hug from me.
Are you in a place of safety now? Do you have any professional support you could access?

[fluffygal]

I am in bed now as have managed to calm down but don't feel like I can sleep so just laying here. No professional support- I know tomorrow I will feel ok and not need it? I don't really think anything can help anyway I guess.

[deaddeadgood]

Sounds like you need to talk to someone in rl. Can you make a gp appt as a first step?

[fluffygal]

Tomorrow I will feel stupid and like I am wasting their time. All the GP will do is give medication and I don't want to take medication. I know it's always the advice to go to the GP but the thought of sitting there in person talking to a stranger about any of this I just couldn't do it.

[SweetCrustPastry]

Does your GP offer telephone appointments? It might be easier than going to see them.

[Hellohello04]

Please don't hurt yourself OP, you seem at a low point so remember you can only go up from here. See your GP and look after yourself please. Sending hugs 💐

[Crowdo]

Have a nighttime hug from me.

[AlphaStation]

Deepak Chopra (the well-known American speaker and writer) and Ray Lewis have recorded affirmations (like songs but it's speech) and it's sort of virtual hugs. Affirmations are a technique to give oneself virtual hugs and get hold of a new way of thinking about oneself. I believe affirmations work in situations when you're stressed and depressed. I share the link in a pm so not to clutter here. You can see if it's something for you, it might feel a bit silly at first, but try it a few times before discarding it.

[fluffygal]

Thanks for your replies, I managed to get some sleep, have tried to reach out to DP for a hug and been rejected. Don't fancy getting up today.

[LouMumsnet]

Sorry to barge onto your thread, OP. It was flagged up to us and we wanted to come on and say we're really sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time.

We can see you've had some great support and advice from MNers on here.

But we thought it might also be useful to link to our Mental Health webguide as it has some useful contacts on there.

Hope it helps.

[fluffygal]

Thanks Lou - I have got up and feeling a little better. DP has been a bit more sympathetic and we have been out for a walk in the sunshine which has helped. I still feel numb and not myself but at least the tears have stopped.