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Apparently great life, but not in reality

(6 Posts)
Postagestamppat Fri 22-Sep-17 16:11:58

I live in an amazing part of the world. Beautiful surroundings, a great climate, lovely culture, friendly (ish) locals and great job, but I am lonely and have been for the 2 and half years that we moved here. I say "we", there are me, dd (5) and dh. DD is loving life because she is the most cheerful and gorgeous girl ever (the beacon in my life) and dh has blended in well. I have not. I love my daughter, I actually really enjoy my job, but I can't cope being so far away from friends and family.

It makes it worse as I have made no friends here. It is all very superficial and polite chit chat, but no connection. And my friends and family at home are forgetting us. No replies to emails, forgetting to include us in celebrations when we are at home. I try my best to be a nice person. I cry almost every night. All I have in my life is my daughter and my job. I am so sad. What for? Reaching 40 and having no friends, other than my daughter aged 5? What happens when my daughter gets older? Having my job as only of my only source of contentment - I used to hate working. Shouldn't dh be supporting me, or am I expecting him to be a mind reader? I don't know about anything.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Fri 22-Sep-17 22:12:28

flowers that sounds really tough. I'm not sure what to suggest, I dont make friends easily either and have never had many friends so can sympathise a bit.

Postagestamppat Sat 23-Sep-17 12:53:47

Thanks for your message. It's tough not being able to make friends isn't it?

writergirl747474 Tue 03-Oct-17 01:46:12

I could have written your post more or less - although I don't have a child. I moved countries to live with my DP and my new country is most people's dream. Not mine as it turns out. It's the first time I have lived with a partner and I'm the loneliest I've ever been. Like you say, friendly locals, polite chit chat but no real connection/friends. I feel really low pretty much all the time and our relationship is heading downhill.
We have agreed to move back the the UK next year (DP is also English) but I feel like I am just treading water until then - not enjoying things I should and missing out on things at home. I can't work out if I am depressed or just need to leave here/him.
And as per your title, everyone things I am living there dream here but it's not true.

Mosaic123 Wed 04-Oct-17 10:17:22

Do you have any UK friends that might want to come and stay with you for a while? A holiday with free accommodation? It would give you something to look forward to.

AChanceAtSchool Thu 05-Oct-17 19:24:15

I could have written this post.

It's almost like having a partner makes you more lonely. People see you as a pair, you don't get invited anywhere, no man would ever attempt to make friends the way they might when we were younger/single so half the population feels "unavailable". Forget going out at night, especially with a child, but when you have no one to go out with, what is the point?

How are you feeling today postage ?

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