Just ' pop in and have a chat' (and a brew if you like) if you feel lonely thread!

[forcryinoutloud]

Hi all, I just wanted to start something off for anyone who feels lonely out there, I know there is lots of it about. So I'll have tea, no sugar please..........

I moved house within the last year and although I moved to a much busier road (very quiet cul de sac before) I feel perhaps even more lonely. I very rarely see a neighbour to chat to and have never seen any of my neighbours pass the time of day with each other either. Is this just the modern world?

I have a DH (so I know things could be worse) but now my kids are teens I don't see much of them either! I don't like just picking up the phone to chat to someone as I have a bit of a phobia of it and always think people will be too busy to want to chat.

So anyway , hi. I got absolutely drenched coming out of work today when the heavens opened (it's the school hots, need I say more) but it's brightening up now. The big question is whether to put the washing out? Having pizza for tea. I'm sooooo tired at the moment (think the menopause has hit me) and I've posted on the health thread to have a herbal tea recommendation.

Take care all of you, hope to see some of you on here. Just chat as if you are chatting to someone over a brew in real life

[Mrscropley]

Hi, a little lonely dm here. Lovely dh and lovely dc but no friends in rl at all. . Just had to walk away from last one unfortunately. . She doesn't know yet and am anxious knowing I have yet to deal with possible fallout and aftermath. You have just reminded me I bought green tea last week and the box is still unopened. . Had coffee instead which won't be helping restless sleep. Went nice with the shortbread biscuits though.!!

[forcryinoutloud]

Sorry to hear that Mrscropley, I won't ask why unless you want to say....
Can totally sympathise with the restless sleep. I am trying not to drink ordinary tea in the evenings now to see if that helps. I've also blacked out the glass above my bedroom door as I have a teen who puts light on and disturbs me. Think I tried green tea once but didn't find it too tasty. Yes please to shortbread if you got enough to share!

[Mrscropley]

It's stashed from the dc - got them jammy dodgers instead!!
You are most welcome to share.
Less ££££for me to lose!!
Started the gym as actually confided in dh how miserable I feel carrying this extra weight (about 2 stone). Hoping once the sessions start paying off I will feel better. .
None of my dc know I am down - wouldn't share as I am the one who is there for everyone not the other way round.

[forcryinoutloud]

I cannot imagine how tough that is Mrs, yes hopefully you will feel better soon. How old are your dc? Mine are DS 18 yr and DD 15yrs.

Am going to have a 5 min (wow!) lie down now before I make tea...unfortunately I do not have the sort of teens who make tea (only brews) but here's hoping for the future.

Anyone else out there feel free to join me and Mrs Cropley. Anything goes on here, light or dark, just chat! Get it off your chest.

[user1483981877]

Can I join? I will jump from my lonely thread further up the page! I am scared to even try and make friends right now, I don't see to be a very likeable person. I have no job, youngish kids, feeling quite lost. I have a very supportive DH but I feel like a total failure for various reasons. At this time of day I will have a herbal tea as I won't sleep if I drink tea or coffee as it will ramp up my very high level of current anxiety! rock and roll!

[forcryinoutloud]

hi 877 (thought that was the best thing to call you?) yes come on in. Would you like a shortbread with your tea? Yes I think I posted on your thread, re the voluntary work idea? How old are your DC? Sorry to hear you have high anxiety. Anything we can help with?

I think it's tough trying to find any sort of job with young kids, I've struggled for years!

Anyhow I'll have to run at the moment as need to dry my hair (just managed to have a bath and forgot to use soap!!) mind you, it sounded like next door's grandchild was being mauled by the dog judging by the amount of screaming coming through the window....

[user1483981877]

hi, sorry I got a bit lost in watching a tv series last night and forgot to reply. Yes, 877 is fine! Thanks for posting on my thread, my kids are 10 and 7, and basically everything has just come to a head for me in terms of my own mental health. I was working, but it didn't go well and I left which I feel terrible about and realise that I got a bit swamped by my own anxiety rather than making a rational decision. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I am struggling with my own level of guilt.
Gosh, hope next door's grandchild is ok!

[queenofthebucket]

Hello. Anyone about today ? I'd like to join, although I'm not sure if I am lonely or not. I definitely suffer from social anxiety (self-diagnosed) and I am confused about how to handle other people. Or am I just an introvert? I spend all my time on my own anyway.
Anyway lets have a tea and a bicky if you are allowing them.
I'm putting my feet up on the sofa.

[calmday]

Hi queen. I'm putting my feet up with a cup of coffee. My DP and DCs are away on a day trip and I'm just waiting on them coming home. Feeling pretty lonely today.

I used to have social anxiety but then it changed and morphed into OCD. It's no fun is it?

[queenofthebucket]

Hi calm. I've just been out and watered the garden for an hour and pottered which always settles me down.
Before that I was stressing about arrangements for a friend's birthday that is coming up and probably misinterpreting all the social media messages.

Do you really find it hard when your family are out of the house? You now its only for a finite time. Its great that you miss them really. Try and enjoy your free time.
Anyway, its wine o'clock now!

[forcryinoutloud]

Hi %calm%, %queen%, and %877% nice to see you all. what are you on queen , white, red , sweet, give us details so we can picture you!

I've had a couple of gin and tonics and some popcorn this evening whilst watching Mo Farah win his race (boy that guy can RUN)...very enjoyable.

Well hopefully your family has had a nice day out %calm%? %user% sorry to hear about work not going well but sure things will improve in time. Obviously I don't know your details but maybe things not as bad as you see them?? You never know! Btw I think next door's grandchild was being over dramatic, basically whenever I get in the bath to relax it seems to be the time the neighbour lets the dog out and there is tremendous woofing or screaming or both!!

[forcryinoutloud]

oops used % instead of * so your names did not appear in bold. Silly old me.

Queen, there is nothing wrong with being introvert, if that's what you are. I think we are conditioned to think there is something wrong with being quiet etc but there actually isn't. People can feel happy/unhappy alone or in company, in my experience.

Goodnight all, thanks for the chat.

[calmday]

I've had a few beers this evening. DP and the kids returned from their trip. They all had a really nice time thankfully. My partner's brother went with them on the trip and he came round for a few beers afterwards. The kids love him.

Hope everyone has had a pleasant evening.

[Whereisthesunshine]

Hello, can I join? I'm feeling very lonely at the moment. I'm going through the hell that is divorce (h walked out about a year ago) and I hate being on my own. No dc. I have a few real life friends but they all have families. I'm feeling very removed from life right now.

Hope everyone enjoyed the sunshine today.

[queenofthebucket]

Hello sunshine, how have you filled the day?
I did some DIY, some shopping, and a bit in the garden. Now i'm cooking dinner.
Do you work? I know weekends can often be really hard when everyone else is doing family or couple orientated activities. I'm a lone parent (ds grown up) now, but I often felt we were all alone at weekends, no pals etc.
Divorce must be tough, I've never been through that, always been more of alone.

[queenofthebucket]

Yesterdays wine was red btw, all gone now!

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Hello everyone. I'm a single parent to 3 dc. They are playing in the garden with the kids from next door and I'm sitting inside with a coffee. I have a boyfriend but he's at his tonight.. I don't know why but I feel very lonely today.

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

I love red wine queen. Wish I had a glass now.

[Annwithnoe]

Can I come in? I have cake.....

In many ways I'm quite happy with life, great DH, great DCs but no friends anymore. Lots of people to smile and say hello to, or chat with on the school run, but no one to share a glass of wine with or go to the cinema with of an evening. I've really no idea how to jump that abyss? Everyone I meet seems to have their "real" friends but all my school and college friends drifted away. Doesn't help being a sahm either (though I wouldn't change that really).

[user246775435865466]

Hi can I join? I'm so lonely. I've suffered with depression on and off for years. Right now it's on and I feel shit. I just had my mess changed to escitalopram but nothing feels different. Just realised today that my partner is not really interested in a relationship with me and my family don't really care for me and my dc.
Sorry just having a moan/pity party.

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Hi Ann. An abyss is a good way to describe it. It's difficult to make new friends in adulthood. I've met a few people through a single parents' group I go to and I've joined a creative writing group.
User sorry to hear you are feeling low. Why do you feel that about your partner?

[Annwithnoe]

Thanks Farontothemaddingcrowd. I'm considering applying for a class or course which might help. Maybe.

Sorry you're feeling low user.

[user246775435865466]

Thanks for replying Ann. I've been in bed most of the day so now I can't sleep. I telephoned mental health matters this evening but I didn't find it very helpful or comforting.
I'm hoping that sleep comes before anxiety heightens.

[Whereisthesunshine]

It's sort hard to make friends isn't it? I am doing a few courses but, at the end of the day, they all go home to their families. I was hoping to be able to ask a few if them to meet for coffee outside the course but haven't done that yet. I hate being alone, it's really affecting my mental health. I am scared I'll get worse. I work in education so am on holiday at the moment. It's a lot of weeks to fill.

[Annwithnoe]

Hope you got to sleep at last user.
It used to be so easy Whereisthesunshine, and now I feel stuck outside looking in. It probably doesn't help that I lack the courage to ask people for coffee. I'm ridiculously thin skinned and I know it would get me down for someone to say no. It's sort of easier not to try. (Sigh) I'm my own worst enemy really