Taken the first steps to getting help

[Northend77]

For a long time now, years, I've had periods of time where I've felt low, lacking in enthusiasm/motivation/energy. My head goes from feeling empty and numb to being so crammed with stuff I am overwhelmed with it all and don't know where to start so I shut down. These periods of time have gone from a few days to weeks at a time and I finally had a breakdown on Sunday evening. It started by a new friend commenting on some of my recent Facebook posts and saying they screamed of depression. We talked at length and she explained that she was on anti depressants for much the same reason - no one big thing that had set off her depression but just that general life with a husband, full time job and young kids had become too much to cope with. I chatted with my husband about it on Sunday and before I knew it the floodgates had opened and I was pouring out my heart and my head and was saying things that even I hadn't realised about myself. I slept well after that but woke up on Monday morning feeling exhausted and like I'd held my eyes open in a swimming pool for an hour! So I took Monday off work, was honest with my boss (who has been really supportive) and made an appointment to see my gp. I feel a mix of relief and defeat/failure but I've always struggled to accept help for anything in life - I have to do everything myself. I'm really hoping that this is the start of the beginning and the path back to the person I know is the real me

I'm keeping a journal to record all the instances that I want to raise with my gp (so I don't have to try and remember everything at the appointment) and I'll keep it going to hopefully record my improvement