Helping my DD when im not sure she is ready

[TheoriginalLEM]

My DD's job got on top of her last year, crap hours, being put upon etc. Her sleep pattern went askew because of her hours and the fact that she would spend too much time with her computer after a late night at work = insomnia. She tried sleeping tablets and it seemed to settle, but then she left her job and was put onto Prozac. It didn't work for her and she ended up taking the rest of her packet (only 7 tabs but still!) The GP at the time just gave her more which she flushed away as it scared her how it made her feel.

So fast forward a year and she has hardly left her flat, other than a few visits to the shop, here at xmas and a funeral. She says she is too scared to go out.

The thing is, she spends all night gaming with folk in America, so different time pattern to here in the UK. So she sleeps all day - this is her normal now. She doesn't answer my calls or messages unless I get cross with her.

It came to a bit of a head last weekend because she came over for her birthday and my mum questioned her about what was wrong, she had a panic attack and her BF took her home.

He doesn't help the situation imo. He is enabling this behaviour which he seems to think she will just get over - he told me he played on computer games constantly when he was a teenager and got bored - my DD is not a teenager, she is 27!

She has gone from being a gregarious, friendly, life and soul person who would have a go at everything to a recluse.

The trouble is, I don't think she WANTS to change. Or at least isn't ready - she clings to this fucking game that she plays constantly and the "friends" she has made whilst playing it.

I have suggested that I go to the Dr with her but she is reticent and like she says, all they will do is put her on medication which she doesn't feel safe with.

I find myself having to abandon her because I can't keep nagging at her and forcing her into contact she doesn't feel comfortable with. I worry she thinks I don't love her but I do, so so much but I'm scared of pushing her away completely.

Should I force medical intervention? I am so worried. I am hoping that she does indeed get bored with the game and move on. She tends to throw herself into things to the exclusion of all else and then will drop things and move on.

I don't know whether this is genuine agoraphobia or anxiety induced by too much time online and fucked up sleeping patterns.

I feel that I can force "help" on her until the cows come home but until she is ready, what can I really do?

She knows I'm there for her, but contact seems to upset her, Its killing me - I love her so much .I suffer from anxiety myself so the guilt that I am the reason she is like this is overwhelming.

Can anyone offer me some hope? I'm so worried

[adifferentnameforthis]

I'm sorry there isn't much you can do til she's ready but that doesn't mean things won't get better. Try to focus conversation with her on the positives as hard as that is right now

[TheoriginalLEM]

Thank you for your reply, I know you are right but it is so hard. Part of me wants to just shake her and scream at her, the other wants to crawl into bed next to her and hide away with her.

[TheoriginalLEM]

its like I feel guilty for living my life just now, I have another DD who is 11 and I can't just stop doing things with her because DD1 is struggling but I feel so disloyal. I even felt guilty for going to work this week and my job is shit just now!

[adifferentnameforthis]

You can't stop your life for her. As much as you love her. Your life has to go on (and it's good modelling for her anyway, that life continues) don't feel guilty