Confused by sexual feeling for therapist

[Carrotsheepcarrot]

Finding it excruciatingly embarrassing (have name changed) to even type this but hoping someone can relate. I'm obsessing over therapy, this comes and goes but sometimes it's like it's all I think about - I have a baby so am up a lot in the night and seem to have conversations in my head with my therapist at these times particularly. In the last week or so I've realised I have sexual feelings when I think about her and I'm mortified...I'm not attracted to her & not even attracted to women generally and am in a stable relationship. I feel so awkward. A lot of the work we're doing is around shame and I guess this fits and I'm sure it's representative of something else but it's so intense....dreading the next session. I know I should just bring it up but honestly can't imagine doing so. Argh. I can't tell anyone in real life, it's too weird. Anyone been through this?

[unavita]

It means you're making progress 👍🏻

[RiaOverTheRainbow]

It's common to feel some sort of attraction to your counsellor, it's just a side effect of being so emotionally open with someone. Personally I'd try to ignore the feelings until they go away, but that's not the right approach for everyone.

[UndersecretaryofWhimsy]

It's so common that it has a name: 'transference'. It doesn't mean anything very much, except that you're working through some personal stuff with her and feelings are messy, so yours are coming out as sexual attraction. I once developed a big crush on a friend who helped me through a very difficult time, but fortunately I knew it was just an expression of my complicated emotions and let it pass.

You have two choices, really: 1) remind yourself that it will pass and it's not really about her, and wait it out: 2) bring it up with her. Therapists are trained to deal with transference.