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Kind of at the edge of what I can take

(4 Posts)
GottonamechangeNow17 Thu 01-Jun-17 23:03:24

So... my family are shit; unsupportive, dismissive and aggressive. They don't "believe" in depression and are so embarrassed I'm on medication for it..or "your bloody drugs" they don't understand I can't make eye contact with them as I'm terrified of them; they don't understand my "twitches" when they are confrontational (I've managed to stop scratching until I bleed and now just fiddle with knuckles or stroke behind knees) and are very aggressive with their telling me to stop. I've made a bit of a mess of my life but am working and bringing my dd up brilliantly (if I can say so) but we have hardly any money and struggling to find somewhere to live... apparantely that makes me a huge fuck
Up. Massive back story but parents decisions led to us ultimately having nowhere to live and they now don't like "how it sounds" and what people think..that's all they care about..other peoples opinions of them! They have enabled my 4 brothers to buy their brand new houses (paid their deposits) so all my bros pay is mortgage... on a 4 bed house with ground source energy they pay less a month than I do rent on shitty 2bedroom flats! But I'm
The fuckup and embarrassment. I seriously wonder why I'm even here. I can't see a way out of it

chocolateworshipper Fri 02-Jun-17 00:47:10

"Depressive illness, the curse of the strong" by Dr Tim Cantopher is a brilliant book for anyone to read who doesn't "believe" in depression. If they would read it.
My Mum really fucked up my life, so I really do sympathise. It may be worth you cutting ties with them - they don't sound like a positive influence on your life. Only you know if that's what you want.

2Creamteas Fri 02-Jun-17 19:57:02

Go to your GP please xx

somewheresomehow Fri 02-Jun-17 20:34:49

get a GP appointment even if its just to talk about how your feeling and maybe get access to counseling and/ or drugs to help you in the short term and maybe go low or no contact with the family /parents which will help with your personal feelings
your not a fuck up ,you have a job and a lovely child who loves you , this is just a moment in time to get through and move on to happier times

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