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Starting ADs again and struggling

(7 Posts)
Lindylu74 Wed 31-May-17 08:03:16

I have been prescribed ADS again for the third time and I'm feeling pretty rubbish about it. The first was after DD2 was born, the second two years ago when I got burnout at work. Now here I am again. Last year my Dad and my MIL died close together then I was made redundant earlier this year. Weirdly I managed to get through all that without going back on ADS but a couple of months on I have hit a wall and the anxiety has come back so strongly. I have gone from being a bit down and slightly anxious to full blown anxiety, physical symptoms, obsessive thoughts and insomnia in a matter of days. Doc has prescribed Sertraline so am starting today. Was on citalopram before so hoping these are OK. Does anyone have experience of these and how quickly they work? We were supposed to go away on a short break locally this week but have cancelled as I feel so bad. DD1 won't speak to me and says I have ruined her life. Feel so guilty but couldn't face camping with insomnia and new pills to cope with.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Sat 03-Jun-17 12:02:31

Hi, I'm also om ADs for the 3rd time, its nothing to feel ashamed about, sometimes we get ill with the same thing more than once with the same type of thing, whether that be colds, flu or depression. I have found that often I get through a crisis seemingly OK, then struggle some time afterwards too, I think its like how we push ourselves when we are busy and dont have time to be ill, then get ill as soon as we have a break/holiday and relax a bit.

DD1 will survive, in the grand scheme of things, she will probably barely remember missing this holiday in a year or so. Would you feel so guilty if you couldn't go because you had broken your arm, or got D&V because really its the same thing, you were too poorly to go.

Lindylu74 Sat 03-Jun-17 15:56:58

Thanks for your message. It helps to know someone else understands. I think you're right, it'seems often the aftermath of the crisis when things hit you rather than during the crisis. I feel cross with myself for having let myself get to this stage of anxiety once again. I have had counselling in the past and thought I knew enough coping techniques to get me through but it got too much to try and do it without ADs. I worry that this will be an ongoing cycle of going on ADS, trying to go off them then back on them again. On the positive side, I am four days in to taking them and already feel a bit better. Have they worked for you again?

wonderwoo Sat 03-Jun-17 18:24:05

Hi. I am not an expert... but I started citalopram for the first time about 2 months ago. It took quite a while for the side effects to settle and for an improvement in myself, but I think I am unusual and side effects usually settle in a couple of weeks and improvements felt within a month. I was full of doubt until I started to feel better and now am so grateful that I have them. My life does not compare to how I was before taking them.

Please try not to be cross with yourself. It sounds like you have used your coping strategies well to get this far without ads. And you wouldn't be feeling cross with yourself if you were unwell for other reasons. You should be proud of having coped the way you have, and proud for taking this step to make yourself feel better.

You have had to make a difficult decision to not go away. Your dc may not understand but that doesn't mean you should feel guilty. It was one of those situations where you just couldn't win tbh. And if you are anything like me, your anxiety will let be making your guilt feelings feel far worse.

wonderwoo Sat 03-Jun-17 18:26:21

Sorry, one more thing. Try not to worry about the future and whether you will be on/off ads in an ongoing cycle. Now is not the time to try and worry about that. Just give them time to work, be kind to yourself right here right now, and tomorrow will take care of itself flowers

Lindylu74 Sun 04-Jun-17 08:34:40

Thanks wonder woo. I keep telling myself I've done the right thing but I'm not sure I believe it yet. Also trying not to think too far into the future. I've been signed off work for a couple of weeks and I'm hoping I will feel a bit better by the end but also worried I will spend these two weeks getting anxious about everything. Anxiety is so exhausting, I just want to feel more normal again. I'm glad you're feeling better now.

wonderwoo Sun 04-Jun-17 12:39:34

You will feel normal again. You just need time.

Try not to worry about tomorrow or the next day. Anxiety is awful but the ads should help with that. Try and get outside when you can for some air and sunshine and take each day at a time for now. You will get there. And be proud you have sought help, it's not an easy thing to do.

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