Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Received a very worrying text from an old friend

(17 Posts)
NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 06:02:08

I need to be careful with details as this could easily be outing, but I've woken up to a text from an old friend (one yearly contact-ish for the last 10 years but very close before that for the previous 5 years).

She has sent a text as a plea for help, asking someone to be non judgemental and let her cry and just allow her to be held. A quick look on FB suggests she may have broken up with her partner of about 5 years.

To make things worse she's in a foreign country - a very far away one (alone I think - exbf lived there too but not sure of where he is now).

I've text her this morning but no reply. I saved her life several times many years ago both physically after she tried to commit suicide twice, and emotionally spending endless hours supporting her and being at the end of the phone. She spent some time in an inpatient unit and recovered well and has been stable since then.

Don't know why I'm posting really. But words of wisdom are gratefully recieved.

Ifailed Tue 30-May-17 06:07:03

If you still care about her, then I think you should support her as best you can, but if money is mentioned be very wary.

MrEBear Tue 30-May-17 06:09:43

Can you call her rather than text?

Good point about being wary or money requests.

NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 06:20:08

I don't have money, so that's a non starter! Her dad died last year, which was a huge shock to the family. The family are fairly well off, so I would be surprised if it was a financial thing.

I care about her, yes. I was actually Wendied by her - I introduced her to my best friend at the time who lived about 150 miles away and they became close. Her exboyfriend is a mutual friend and she was a bridesmaid at my old best friends wedding (I was not invited).

I asked her if she was free for me to call but no reply. I could call her but we haven't spoken over the phone probably for about 3 years. I just can't believe she hasn't got anyone else to turn to at this time - unless it's because she's broken up with the bf and most of her friends are mutual with his...

NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 06:21:55

I didn't mean for that to sound selfish.

Whywaitfortomorrow Tue 30-May-17 06:22:11

Could the time difference mean she might not have seen your text yet ?
Are you able to call her instead ?

Whywaitfortomorrow Tue 30-May-17 06:23:40

Just read your last post OP.

MyOtherProfile Tue 30-May-17 06:24:52

Oh dear that's really hard for you. Is there a mutual friend where she is who you can contact?

NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 06:32:28

I don't think so- her ex was working in this country. She did an extended visit at the end of last year and then returned a few weeks ago for education reasons - the country is ahead, time wise and not one which is particularly touristy, or with a big expat community generally. I could call her mum but DP is saying don't get involved.

I'm a nurse for goodness sake. This is at the core of everything I do!

HotelEuphoria Tue 30-May-17 06:37:44

She hasn't been a very good friend to you and isn't engaging now. I would tell her mum too and leave it with them.

MyOtherProfile Tue 30-May-17 06:50:27

Good advice Euphoria

NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 07:50:45

Thank you.

MyOtherProfile Tue 30-May-17 16:10:14

Did you manage to speak to your friend's mum Nick?

NickMyLipple Tue 30-May-17 18:13:13

Actually, my friend finally text back and said that it was being sorted - very cryptic confused

MyOtherProfile Tue 30-May-17 18:23:11

Hmm maybe attention seeking then?

NickMyLipple Wed 31-May-17 07:00:48

I spent the evening talking to her. She's had a rough time lately which ended in a suicide attempt on Sunday night. She thought her attempt would kill her as that was absolutely her intention.

She saw the psych liaison nurse on Sunday night when she was taken to A&E and she saw another nurse on Monday night. She has her psychiatric crisis appointment today, so I'm going to combine a trip to see my family with seeing her today and tomorrow.

She's not overseas anymore - she went to do a course but said her anxiety was crippling and she had to return home without even starting.

I have a lot of love for this woman. We have known each other for 12 years, and though we don't talk frequently it's just like old times when we do.

I really hope she starts to feel better soon.

MyOtherProfile Wed 31-May-17 22:51:40

Well done for being a good friend to her. Sounds like she really needs it.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: