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Should I Go Back To Hospital?

(12 Posts)
GenericAndGeneric Sat 27-May-17 21:10:22

Hi,
Even if nobody reads this, I think I need to write it down (or type it) for myself.

I recently spent a few weeks in a psychiatric hospital due to a breakdown. I came out feeling a little numb and dazed, but tbh that's exactly how I felt going in.

Lately my situation, bad thoughts and mood towards myself and every day life has become quite dire. I'm on medication to try to keep my bad thoughts and moods at bay but I don't feel like I'm really benefiting from them lately. In fact, I feel much worse now than I have done for a long while.

I think that my stay in the hospital helped me somewhat whilst I was there, but I feel that once I was discharged it was business as usual and I was left to my own devices.

Now I'm wondering if I was ready to leave the hospital and whether it would be an idea to go back? As mad as it sounds, I was miserable being away from my family but I was getting the help that I needed, and, deep down, I know that I need still.

It's just so hard to ask for help. And harder to ask for it in the correct way, especially when I know that there are people out there that are so much more in need than me.

Any advice, although I know I've been vague on home life and situations, would really be appreciated.

Thanks for enduring my endless, self pitying drivel

ihatethecold Sat 27-May-17 21:13:52

It's not about whether other people need help more than you.
If you are recognising that you still feel unwell why shouldn't you get the help you need?

Please be kind to yourself. flowers

iveburntthetoast Sat 27-May-17 21:16:30

I'm sorry you've been feeling so bad.

In the past, ive left hospital for too soon. I also hate the place, but there's something to be said for having 'time out' from regular life. You don't have to pretend to be OK in hospital--trying to put a face on can be exhausting. What support were you discharged to? I was discharged from hospital 2 weeks ago and have been under the crisis team since then. They can be helpful in making the transition from ward to home.

GenericAndGeneric Sat 27-May-17 21:22:01

Thank you both for the response.

Once I was discharged, I saw the home based treatment team for 2 days and they never came back after that. I felt kind of stranded and alone.

I have my husband and my children at home but my children are young and I would never pile my problems on them. My husband is trying so hard to be as supportive as he can but I get that he doesn't quite understand how I feel and doesn't know how to deal with me.

I agree, when I was in the hospital I didn't have to lay on a "brave" or happy face, I didn't have to pretend to be overjoyed that people had come to see me, I didn't even have to get dressed if the feeling wasn't right. I missed my family like crazy but I had to be there for not only myself, but more importantly them.

I just don't know what to do for the best. I fee very conflicted and angry at myself.

ihatethecold Sat 27-May-17 21:29:26

Why do you feel angry with yourself.
If you had a medical issue that hadn't been resolved would you be so hard on yourself?

GenericAndGeneric Sat 27-May-17 21:37:48

Ihatethecold I suppose not. I get very frustrated at myself because I think a part of me feel that I should be able to deal with my mental health needs without intervention.
I also feel incredibly selfish due to the fact that I can't be a mum when I'm in hospital. Or when I'm not sometimes.

ihatethecold Sat 27-May-17 21:41:07

But what's the alternative?
You have a right to be better.

GenericAndGeneric Sat 27-May-17 21:43:01

The alternative would probably be remain the same or get worse.
I know what I have to do, it's just so hard to bring myself to do it.

erinaceus Sun 28-May-17 20:21:20

I am so sorry that you feel stranded and alone. I have had a lot of support on here and I hope that you can find that too.

Who referred you to the hospital, do you know?

Have you been discharged from the home treatment team, do you know? You wrote that they never came back after that, but if you have been discharged by them then you ought to have been informed of this.

The reason I ask is because if you feel as if you would benefit from further treatment, the HTT might be the appropriate people to discuss this with.

flowers I hope that you feel better soon.

GenericAndGeneric Mon 29-May-17 05:15:46

Hi,
My CPN referred me to hospital, I had an overdose and went straight from the local hospital.
I did get told that I was discharged from the HTT, and still see my CPN regularly. Most weeks I will see my CPN at least once.
I find it so so hard to ask for help, like I said before, I feel weak and selfish.
Thank you for your response.

erinaceus Mon 29-May-17 06:37:38

Asking for help is hard. I can relate to feeling selfish. The guilt that I experience over my admissions is extreme. You will not be admitted unless it is deemed necessary.

Have you talked to your CPN about how you are feeling, in terms of feeling as if you might find more time in the hospital helpful?

Do you feel as if you might do something to harm yourself again, such as take another overdose?

If you feel as if your medication is not helping you, can you ask your CPN to book you in for a medical review with your psychiatrist?

Apologies in advance if all of the questions are not helpful! flowers

ihatethecold Mon 29-May-17 07:49:57

Hey op.
Have you been able to speak to your family to say how you feel at the moment? X

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