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people telling me Dd needs to be sectioned

(166 Posts)
BananaJam11 Sun 14-May-17 17:00:20

Dd is 15 and I can't say she's a saint but I'm fed up with people telling me she needs to be sectioned.

We've been through and unsuccessful camhs referral and various other unsuccessful referrals.

She refused to talk about how she feels to anyone but I know she's hurting. She self harms,shares posts about suicide.

She's ran out the house at silly hours of the day/night which caused a neighbour to say 'that girl of yours needs to be put in hospital'. She's attacked family members who then tell me she needs to be sectioned. Even friends have said she's 'crazy'.
She has these breakdowns where she will cry,shake,scream,harm herself ,I've tried different gp and speaking to the school who aren't very supportive. I know it's not alright but these people are in no position to tell me my Dd is crazy. It's exhausting for me too.
She needs counselling not a section.

I'm sorry for the long post . I just needed to vent sadblush

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber Sun 14-May-17 17:02:02

Sectioned doesn't mean crazy.

LovelyBath77 Sun 14-May-17 17:04:07

Maybe ut could be that they are concerned and it is coming out the wrong way?

PurpleDaisies Sun 14-May-17 17:05:45

Sectioning isn't just for "crazy". Sometimes people who are on immediate danger of harming themselves are sectioned to keep them safe.

I can understand why you find it frustrating when people comment. If your daughter is sharing posts about suicide she needs help as soon as possible. Who is currently involved in her care? What's next in terms of trying to get her help? It sounds like you're really going to have to push for it given what you've said in your op.

flowers for you, it must be seriously stressful.

BananaJam11 Sun 14-May-17 17:05:57

justAnother I know it doesn't mean crazy but I've had friends say Dd is 'crazy'

KallyBox Sun 14-May-17 17:06:08

I really don't want to sound unsupportive but she is hurting herself and others. She is not just a risk, she is a very real danger to everyone around her.

As her mum it is only natural that you want what is best for her. I have experience of this with my brother who was sectioned. If she is sectioned, you can prevent her from killing herself or doing something illegal (attacking people) that will seriously harm her future opportunities in life. She will then get the help that she needs.

WhereDoesThisRoadGo Sun 14-May-17 17:08:43

Sorry you and your DD are going through this, but, in my experience of working with troubled families, it does sound as though she is in the midst of one of two problems. Either she is extremely attention seeking, in which case she needs more discipline and structire in her home and school life. Or she has some significant mental issues that you cannot support yourself and some deep psychological exploration with a trained professional to prevent her state of mind getting out of control. Your family will be trying to help, albeit their comments are not particularly helpful. But, whatever you do, do not dismiss this as teenage angst as her behaviour is quite extreme from what you are saying.

Cheby Sun 14-May-17 17:09:42

What do you mean by unsuccessful referrals? TBH her behaviour sounds concerning (as you obviously appreciate) so when people say she needs sectioning what they are really saying is that they think she needs urgent help. They're not being rude I don't think.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber Sun 14-May-17 17:10:02

flowers

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sun 14-May-17 17:10:35

Only you know the real dd. But don't put off exploring every avenue of treatment fearing judgement from others. flowers

Wando1986 Sun 14-May-17 17:12:02

Well to them she is 'crazy'. You might want to consider requesting an emergency section under the mental health act next time she has an episode. It will at least put her on the right path or help towards it.

BananaJam11 Sun 14-May-17 17:15:21

Thank you for the responses.

By unsuccessful I mean it gets to the assement and she doesn't tell the truth. She'll say she doesn't ever feel suicidal and that she never lashes out,breaks down gets upset and manipulate people into thinking it's just a teenage phase.

Ilikecheeriosyum Sun 14-May-17 17:18:34

Theyre thinking that once you go to inpatient you never leave, when in reality they keep you for up to 3 days usually and once you're safe you get released, they can't keep you without very very good reason, so as soon as she stopped harming or couldn't carry out a plan then she would be released.

So if she attacks some one or herself then she would be held for 24 hours and then released.

She might get counselling this way though, as they offer it sometimes in hospitals or through community support once you leave, although In my experience they can't make you talk, if she stays silent or says she's fine and wants to be left alone, they're so busy and stretched that they WILL leave to the next patient.

Have you thought about private therapy? It's roughly £25 a session in my area, but they can do discounted schemes sometimes, it's worth asking. But if she doesn't want help, you cant force her.

BarbarianMum Sun 14-May-17 17:19:27

Well what would you prefer them to say? That she needs putting in prison? That she's beyond help? That she's just doing it for attention?

DJBaggySmalls Sun 14-May-17 17:19:53

It sounds like she is having panic attacks. Have you told that to her GP? They are hell to live with.

LakieLady Sun 14-May-17 17:21:39

If "people" means friends and family, I don't think they're really qualified to judge. It's not easy to get someone sectioned and MH professionals will only take that step when someone is very unwell.

However, it sounds as though you're daughter is really suffering and getting into some potentially dangerous behaviours. She clearly needs professional help of some sort. If she won't accept that help, she may need to be compulsorily admitted.

My heart goes out to you OP, my DB was diagnosed bi-polar at the age of 20 and it was really, really tough on our parents. My father worked abroad a lot and for much of the time, my mum had to with it on her own (I was living 150 miles away and working full-time).

I hope you manage to get her to accept help.

tinydancer88 Sun 14-May-17 17:22:56

If she is hurting herself and others than perhaps it would not be the worst thing in the world.

Counselling can take a relatively long time to help people to feel better. It sounds like your daughter may need more immediate intervention to keep herself safe.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal Sun 14-May-17 17:24:25

she doesn't tell the truth

Which is maybe why you need to tell the professionals the truth then.

She needs counselling not a section

That's for a mental health professional to decide.

IloveBanff Sun 14-May-17 17:26:39

Treatment in a psychiatric unit may be precisely what she needs. I was admitted to a hospital at 16 and I can still remember the massive sense of relief at being there. It was just what I needed. Don't see hospitalisation as a bad thing if it can help her.

LedaP Sun 14-May-17 17:27:07

She is an immeadiate danger to herslef and others. I can see why people think she needs sectioning. For their own protection and her own.

What will happen when she really hurts someone else?

Counselling isnt a magic cure. Neither is sectioning. Mental health professionals can decide what she needs. Counsellimg wont help if she wont engage.

HeyCat Sun 14-May-17 17:27:26

I'm sorry but by the sound of it, she may need to be sectioned.

She is a danger to herself and to others, and is not cooperating with treatment as she's not telling the truth.

This is exactly the kind of situation sections are meant to cover.

Don't see a section as meaning she's crazy, or that she's going to be in an institution forever. It just means that the doctors could compel her to go into hospital and stay there while she gets treatment.

I have a close family member who has been sectioned repeatedly and I believe it's in their best interests.

In your place - I would go and speak honestly to your GP, without her, and ask for urgent consideration for a section.

Violetskies123 Sun 14-May-17 17:36:06

I'm sorry for all that you're going through, but being sectioned isn't an awful thing. Talk to a mental health professional and if they advise sectioning it may be best for her.

Gabilan Sun 14-May-17 17:38:05

This is why I dislike it when people say someone is crazy, insane or mad when they mean they're angry, eccentric, odd or just plain violent. It reinforces a stigma so when someone really has MH problems people fight shy of the diagnosis because they don't want to be labelled as "crazy".

She may well have MH problems and sometimes sectioning is the safest option. In time she'll probably need therapy but from what you're saying she's not ready to engage with this yet. I'm sorry you and she are going through this. If sectioning would help her then that is what she needs. And I'd recommend therapy when she's ready rather than counselling.

ShowMePotatoSalad Sun 14-May-17 17:38:37

It does sound like she needs to be admitted to hospital to stop her harming herself. The way people are talking to you about her though is very unsupportive and cruel - they need to help you through this, not through stigmatising labels round. "Crazy" is a horrible word.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

flowers

SongforSal Sun 14-May-17 17:39:39

OP, I'm 4yrs into a psychological career pathway. 'Crazy' is actually a horrible term. Sorry people have called her that. Please go to a GP, it very much sounds she needs help urgently. From your description, she is a risk to herself, please get her the help before this escalates further.

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