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Feeling bereft. Don't know what to do.

(9 Posts)
wowfudge Sat 13-May-17 15:15:36

In tears and have been on and off for the last day or so. I don't feel like I'm myself.

Yesterday at work someone had a go at me over something minor and I ended up crying my eyes out. I'm not normally like that - I'm usually calm and unflappable and can be relied on to get things done. I wasn't in the wrong btw - they were being arsey. I had to go back to the office in the evening after we'd eaten and pick up something I should have taken home with me. I couldn't leave it as it was being picked up from me at home this morning.

Home is a tip: dusty and stuff out of place all over the place - building work has been going on for months but I just can't afford the time to sort things out as I've got an exam looming. Trying to revise but I can't concentrate. I've been turning a blind eye to all the mess but today something has snapped and it's too much.

I have no downtime. My concentration is shot. I have a headache. My partner isn't here. Don't want to ring my parents. Don't know what to do.

JoshRogan Sat 13-May-17 16:08:35

You sound really overwhelmed, and I'm not surprised, you clearly have a LOT going on right now.
When you have too many plates spinning at once at can help to prioritise the most important ones and just accept that some are going to fall. You can't do everything.

I know you say you don't want to call your parents, I'm wondering why?
It sounds like you could do with some support, from them or friends or your partner wherever they are.
Because even the strongest person in the world will eventually crumple if you keep piling things on top of them

wowfudge Sat 13-May-17 16:35:23

Thank you for replying. I don't drink much at all but I've had a brandy to help me calm down. My parents are elderly and live quite a way from us. Both have had health issues recently so I don't want to worry them. My partner is not back until later. I've texted him to say I need to discuss how I'm feeling but doubt his phone is even switched on. I'm​knackered. I haven't slept through all week. I feel like no one looks after me, it's always me who does the running around and when I can't, things go to pot.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Sun 14-May-17 22:43:15

Hi, it sounds like you have a lot on. Have you seen your GP? It might be worth some time off sick to focus on you. You can't expect others to look after you, you need to put looking after yourself top of your list. If we don't then wevend up poorly and not being able to do the running arround. I speak from bitter experience.

wowfudge Mon 15-May-17 04:49:42

Thank you. I am considering it. It doesn't help that this week at work will be extremely busy and we are two people down in those who normally help out with a big event. I've been awake since 2 with a migraine. I've taken my meds but it's taken ages to shift and of course I've started thinking about everything that needs doing. DP took on board what I told him about how I am feeling and suggested some changes which may help.

fernanie Mon 15-May-17 05:05:02

Hey wowfudge, just wanted to handhold and say I'm in a similar situation in terms of balancing job / family / house / exams and, you're right, it's a shitty situation. Feels like you never do anything really well - my house is also a tip because I prioritise studying, but I can never do a really great job of studying because I'm knackered after work! It's so demoralising to be constantly trying and never feeling like you've really accomplished anything. (And, yes, difficult to sleep when so stressed, which means you don't really have the emotional reserves to deal with anything extra, however "minor".)
When does your course finish (or is your exam part of your job)? Is there an option to get a cleaner, even for 1 hour a week just to do the ironing and run the hoover round or something? Or to rearrange some of the furniture so you have a tidy, protected space to study in, even if the rest of the house is a tip? Could your DP take on cooking (or similar) duties a couple nights a week to free up some time for you?
Hope your migraine is easing up and today is a better day at work for you brewflowers

Rinkydinkypink Mon 15-May-17 05:14:47

You need time off work. You need to proritise yourself. I'm speaking as someone whose ignored the signs. Had a breakdown and is now working 5 years on to repair the damage.

Take a week off. I don't care how busy they are your a mental health is paramount! Go to your gp. You need help to sleep. Someone to talk to (Counselling). Then start on the house. One step at a time.

Speak to friends! Your clearly on the edge of something happening to you. Stop it before you can't!

mylaptopismylapdog Mon 15-May-17 06:00:58

You have got a lot on your plate but the get things done part of you is now on here asking how not to feel overwhelmed so it hasn't disappeared. It might be worth trying this www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4gZgnCy5ew&app=desktop as you are probably physically tense listening to instructions may be more relaxing than trying to get to sleep. You could also try having a bath before bed.
Would hearing your parents relax you? You don't have to tell the the whole story and they would probably feel better to know they can still be useful or just from hearing your voice. Hope you feel better soon but if you still have a migraine in the morning you might be better to stay in bed and rest rather than struggle on when you feel overwhelmed feeling unwell makes everyone less able to cope with stress. Hope you feel better very soon. Ask your partner to stock up with some of your favorite and convenient food so you have treats to help with revision. Goodluck

wowfudge Mon 15-May-17 19:54:40

Thanks all. I've survived the day. Did what was necessary, but no more, at work. I do feel as though nothing I do at work, home, etc is done as well as I want it to be or as I am capable of normally fernanie.

DP works away a lot so isn't around most of the time, but he has made some good suggestions as to how he could help me. He left me to get some rest this morning, did some tidying then made me a drink and walked to the station with all his stuff - he is a messy bugger and will normally leave getting his stuff together until the last minute then ask for a lift, which I find disruptive and thoughtless.

The exam is early June and it's a professional qualification work are paying for. I did make good progress yesterday and feel like it went well. I also went for a walk before tea which was really nice. Just a shame I was ill in the night. Could have used the sleep. Feels like one step forward and two steps back sometimes. I don't struggle to get to sleep, it's staying alseep and not letting worrying stop me from getting back to sleep. Will have a bath tonight to see if that helps.

My mum rang me yesterday, asked how I was so I told her. She was really lovely - clearly understood and asked what she can do to help. I can't​ ask her to drive 25 miles and clean my house though. She'd be done in too.

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