My DD early 20's has bipolar, depression, and bpd and is currently in hospital. She was in our local hospital but got moved to another hospital about 100 miles away because she needed to be on observation and our local hospital didn't have the resources to put her onto observation. She has subsequently been taken off observation.
She is awaiting a transfer back to the original hospital but there are no beds available there. She is really scared and incredibly lonely in the new hospital which is nothing like the original hospital and her mood is going downhill badly.
She is telling the doctors that she is improving so that hopefully they move her back to the old hospital but in reality her mood is low. She feels incredibly low and thinks she needs to change her medication. If she tells the hospital this they will most likely keep her in for at least 3 weeks to supervise the change of medication.
She cannot cope with the thought of 3 weeks at the new hospital. She is struggling to get through the day and I am really worried that she will take her own life which she has tried to do on several occasions by paracetemol overdose.
Given her terror of the new hospital I think that thing she would be better off wcoming home, seeing her key worker, GP, psychologist, friends and family than being miles away from home and lonely and isolated. She could maybe get a bed in the old hospital sooner rather than later. I hve taken time off work to care for her and she could also see the Crisis Team if necessary.
I would appreciate any advice, thank you very much. She is completely terrified in the new hospital.
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Mental health
Leaving psychiatric hospital when unwell
EmeraldIsle100 · 10/05/2017 01:52
Hi EmeraldIsle100
I hope you managed to get some rest last night. Is your DD a voluntary patient, or is she detained under the Mental Health Act? In my opinion this makes a difference to what I would do in your situation. I've been in a situation somewhat similar to that of your DD and am much better now. One of the things that helped me at the time was a realistic plan that took my wishes into account.
Is she sleeping any better in the hospital? I found the hospital played havoc with my sleep, which was not helpful. One thing I will say is that I did spend X days in the hospital waiting for a bed to come up somewhere else, and whilst it was hellish at the time, I did get through it, largely using the strategy Titania suggests even though I was on the ward. One hour at a time. It was pretty hellish and if you and your DD agree that she will be safer at home it is worth discussing this with the consultant in charge of her care at New Hospital, who may themself be difficult to pin down. (My consultant when I was on the ward was lovely but incredibly busy.)
Not sure that is of any use. Does your DD have someone whom she trusts? You mentioned that she is telling the doctors she is improving and telling you her mood is low. If I were you I would feel back to the ward what she is telling you. Does she have a ward round coming up that you can get to? Apologies if this is teaching you to suck eggs. I found the whole ordeal Kafkaesque myself but I did get through it, in part with the support of lovely people on this board 
Hi EmeraldIsle100
There's no need to apologise for the length of the post. It's what MN is for.
If your DD is detained under the MHA, she will be entitled to an Independent Mental Health Advocate. This is a person who is on her side - here is a description.
The other thing that it might be useful for you to know is that the person who is in charge of decision making about your DD's care is known as the Responsible Clinician. She may have multiple doctors involved in her care but there will be one who is responsible for decision-making around leave and discharge. Your DD should have some paperwork with this person's name on it, or be able to ask the staff who it is.
If I feed this back to the hospital I am very worried that they won't let her out for a few days. On the other hand I am not a medic and what if I do the wrong thing??
If she stays in hospital is that so terrible? They are terrible places, I agree, but they are absolutely the last resort and no-one will keep your DD in hospital if a better alternative exists for her.
It is worth, if you can, having a three-way conversation with your DD and her RC. If you are not able to physically make it to the ward round, you could find out if you could dial in. My experience is that everyone involved in my care - including me and my relatives - being on the same page was important to me, and I did my best not to say different things to different people involved in my care, but I did experience my opinion of what might be best for me changing rapidly and sometimes abruptly. If your DD is saying one thing to you and a different thing to her RC and you are comfortable with that, that is one thing. If you have doubts, you could discuss those doubts with someone involved in her care.
An important thing to remember, in my opinion, is that Doctors are not Gods and the power that they have to "do things" to patients is in law and medical ethics extremely limited. If your DD feels as if her medication is not helping her, she would be ill-advised to stop taking it without the guidance of her doctor. If the doctor would prefer she be in hospital to monitor a change of medication you could negotiate whether this transition could instead be handled at home with the support of the Crisis Team. In general, one is not obliged to comply with medication in order to escape the clutches of the hospital - that is not quite how it works, for all that it might seem that way.
The nuts and bolds of the whole enterprise can seem mythical from the outside but they are what they are and in my experience working with the system instead of against it is in general the less painful route. I did only learn all this by experience though.
I hope that a little of this helps. For what it's worth, I am also a fan of Recovery College.
Lastly, do you have support for yourself in all of this? Being a carer is a real burden. Have a think about you. Will you feel better if your DD is at home, or worse?
Sending 
I don't think I really gave advice! I was trying not to 
I am glad that sharing my experiences helps you though.
Having been somewhere where your daughter is, when I, my relatives, and the professionals involved in my care start actively working together, the whole enterprise involves less suffering than when different people are pulling in different directions. We didn't all get it right all the time but we did and still do our best. Ultimately when your DD is detained, the RC has the final say, but you and she can both give significant input. Sometimes, masses of patience is needed. In my view, hospitals are not therapeutic places. Is your DD still there, or is she home on leave at the moment?
I can make suggestions for how to make her time in hospital more bearable. I posted on here all through and it made such a difference.
I am glad you have support for you. I hope that your partner and DS are alright. Trying to find other parents in your position might also be helpful. You might find that your DD's local team or the one at her hospital can connect you to resources for carers. If you know which Mental Health Trust your DD is under locally then you could look on their website to find out about support for carers. There are other parents in your situation; your DP and DS might find more information helpful too, depending on where they are at.
I'm glad that things are looking brighter today. If you become concerned for your DD's safety at any point, stay with her, phone the ward, take her to A&E (if she will go), or phone an ambulance. My parents have done all of these for me at different times, I am still here, they are still here, and we are still talking. These things can be gotten through, but they are hellish at the time. If you like flowers, maybe buy yourself some, or ask your DP to? Here are some virtual ones in the mean time
HTH
Nothing practical to add - just 
and
DC1 is a (younger) troubled soul with no MH diagnosis yet although we continue with CAMHS. She has been deeply unhappy for years. It is so hard to see them suffer.
Thanks very much for posting Longer. I am her nearest relative. She is legally detained and I think I would have to go to Court to have section overturned.
She is getting day leave but desperately wants to get back to original hospial and away from new hospital. I am worn out listening to her fixating about it.
The hospital is ringing me later and best news for DD is for her to get bed in old hospital.
Thanks wtf. Its an incredibly painful illness and awful to see your child go through it. I really hope your DD gets tbe help she needs
EmeraldIsle100 If you are worn out listening to her, are you able to make some space for yourself? For example, when she is at the hospital she is probably as safe as she can be. Are you able to get any rest? If her RC is not prepared for her to be discharged home, that is not a decision that will be made lightly, and appealing the section legally does not look from the outside like a fun journey although I have no personal experience of the process.
I never imagined I would sit in a room and discuss whether I could keep one of my children safe.
Life sometimes throws situations that we never imagined at us. There were times when I sat in such a room with my parents and their answer to the above was "no". Those times, I did not go on to live under their care. In my opinion, it took them some cojones to admit that they were not able to keep their own child safe. I am trying to say that really you are not the only parent to go through this. If you have elderly parents of your own as well, you only have so much to give and it is no good to your DD if you run out of resources.
Sending keep posting if it helps. Sending to your DD, too.
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