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At what point do they take your children?

(12 Posts)
onethousandandonepapercuts Tue 18-Apr-17 07:55:53

I feel like I'm loosing it. I'm getting divorced but we're still living together and I just can't cope with the onslaught of shitty things that my ex is doing/has done. And he's loving it, getting a huge power trip from it. He says he's worried about me. Implying that I'm unstable, unfit to care for our children. I'm worried that he'll use it to get full custody. Should I be worried? Can he use my mental health against me during divorce as a way to get full custody?

rightsofwomen Tue 18-Apr-17 11:30:09

Are you getting professional support for your MH issues?
Unless you are unfit to look after your children then you should have nothing to worry about, and it's cruel for your stbx to use your health as a stick to beat you with.

I think if you are showing an awareness and willingness to try and manage your MH issues in order to live your own life AND care for your children then it would be very unusual for residency to removed from you.

Oh and it's a common tactic among abusive people to throw threats around like that.

dangermouseisace Wed 19-Apr-17 16:16:37

don't listen to him. Is there any way you can get 'd'h to move out? Have you seen a solicitor? If you have MH problems and accept help that is offered (if anything needs to be offered) then there shouldn't be an issue.

My STBXH tried the 'crazy' thing- even though I ended up in a psych ward it didn't work, my solicitor said that he didn't have a chance and he was just doing it to be a git. It's a common thing as pp has said. Don't worry, and see what you can do to make sure your contact with that arsehole is minimised flowers

onethousandandonepapercuts Thu 20-Apr-17 06:40:33

I've been struggling to move out as my earnings aren't enough to the pass referencing checks for private rent. He has refused to move out so we're stuck in this horrific situation of living together. It's making me go a bit mad. I don't know if I'm imagining half of the mind games he's playing.

My children have always been well cared for. And I have never posed a risk to them at all. At the moment I feel myself slipping back into a dark place so I need to see my GP, maybe go back on on antidepressants for a bit.

shellhider Thu 20-Apr-17 06:45:01

I'm sure that you aren't imagining them, he's being abusive. You'd have to b very far gone for the harm to take your children, if everybody who has been on anti depressants had their children taken away th n the majority of children would be in care flowers

endofthelinefinally Thu 20-Apr-17 06:47:41

He is deliberately causing your mental health problems.
Have you talked to Womens Aid?
You need help to escape from his abuse.

endofthelinefinally Thu 20-Apr-17 06:55:23

When you see your gp ask them to document your husband's abusive behaviour.

blueskyinmarch Thu 20-Apr-17 06:58:05

Your children would only be removed from you if you were causing them harm or if they were badly neglected. MH issues on their own if the children are well cared for is not a trigger for SS involvement. Neither is taking anti depressants. I am a social worker and have been on anti depressants as have many of my colleagues. Go to the GP and get yourself. In an even keel so you are more able to cope with what is going on for you at the mom et.

blueskyinmarch Thu 20-Apr-17 06:58:30

Moment not mom el. Sorry.

DunedinGirl Thu 20-Apr-17 07:18:08

I suggest keeping a note of the things he is saying to you. Sorry you're going through this :-(

onethousandandonepapercuts Thu 20-Apr-17 12:39:07

I've been in touch with women's aid, they had a place for me. But solicitor adviced against moving to a refuge back in January. She said it would be seen as me being over dramatic by the courts. And H could get the children returned to him. So I have stayed to the detriment of my mental health.

Thank you blue. It's good to hear that. I'm not a perfect mum by any stretch but I'm trying my best under the circumstances. I'm far too irritable and shouty which dd1 has picked up on. Doesn't help that stbxh is being dad of the year, manipulating the children with expensive trips out and anything they want.

shellhider Thu 20-Apr-17 13:02:56

Neither is taking anti depressants. I am a social worker and have been on anti depressants as have many of my colleagues.

Needing anti depressants seems to be rife in social work, health care and education. I can't think why 😢

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