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Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.

(299 Posts)
Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:15:46

I am experiencing another breakdown. I have called crisis team and they are seeing me tomorrow can't see me earlier.

I'm scared. I may be going into hospital which I haven't before. I don't know what this entails.

My daughter has nowhere to go she is 16. We are a tight unit and have been let down by almost everyone else. Her father hasn't seen her in 5 years. But I suspect that's what everyone will tell us to do. He lives hundreds of miles away so it would mean her leaving school and friends and all she knows and me and I am scared he will turn her against me and I'll never see her again, never have the relationship with her I have now which frankly is the only good thing in my life.

She is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to have to deal with any of this.

I can't stop crying, shaking, can barely breathe.

Can anyone tell me what hospital is like (for mh reasons) what would I be allowed to take in/not allowed as I cannot be without my phone as I cannot be out of touch with my girl.

Can anyone please advise or help? I'm drowning here

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:36:18

Anybody please?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 13-Apr-17 19:38:31

Do any of her friends parents know you well enough that she could stay with them for a while?
A neighbour that she knows and trusts?

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:39:58

I have heard of people being able to email whilst in hospital OP. I'm sorry you are so unwell at the moment. Surely at 16 they will take her views into consideration? I can't imagine that moving away from school (Y11) and her support structures to be with a man she hasn't seen in 5 years would be a good idea.

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:40:42

First of all THANK YOU for replying

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:42:04

She doesn't want to ask her friends parents (embarrassed and they are struggling themselves with various issues) there's a couple that I think when this comes out will say 'you should have asked!'

But it's also putting people in a very awkward position!

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:42:20

You're welcome. I'm no expert in either social work or MH but you clearly aren't well, want to get better and love your daughter to bits and want the best for her.

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:44:05

Depends on how well she gets on with the whole family and how long it's likely to be. Could she go into foster care or is there such a thing as a group home any more? Maybe rather than staying with them full time these friends could be asked to make her welcome in the home more often. Spend a day with the family at the weekend or share a family Sunday roast?

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:44:26

She's saying she'd rather live on her own. She is very sensible and practical but I worry about her coming emotionally living on her own. I left home young myself and it's not easy.

Crispbutty Thu 13-Apr-17 19:44:51

I'm sure you will be allowed to have your phone.

At 16 would your daughter not be able to stay at home and maybe have a friend stay over to keep her company?


Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:46:00

I love her so much. Yet I've been pathetic and useless and let her down so badly

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:46:23

Perhaps the friends you mention could support her living in her own home? Would social workers help her do this? Is she at school? Perhaps they could offer some support?

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:46:42

Need to leave our property tomorrow (very long story)

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:47:27

School far from supportive

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:47:54

Massive x post.
You haven't let her down AT ALL!
You haven't been in the slightest pathetic or useless. You aren't well. It's the illness making you feel like that. Perhaps you need to be apart for a short while so you an be well enough to be together. flowers

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:48:36

I don't know I don't trust my own thoughts any more

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:48:46

Where are you both staying tomorrow?
Shame about school? Not one supportive pastoral worker? Shame. School is supposed to help students.

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 19:49:08

So much running round my head!

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:49:14

Trust me. You won't have let her down by seeking support to get well.

Bobbins43 Thu 13-Apr-17 19:49:28

Google Bipolar Blogger. Charlotte is amazing and has been hospitalised before and has written posts about what to do when you go in, what to take etc...

Massive hugs, OP x

Wolfiefan Thu 13-Apr-17 19:49:38

I get that Op.
Sorry slow typing.
The whizzing round your head. I get it.

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 20:30:31

Bobbins that's great thanks

Vstressedtenant Thu 13-Apr-17 20:31:20

I'm just in a total panic. I think probably my daughter will have to go to her dad which she will hate me for and I'll lose her forever.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 13-Apr-17 20:34:38

Could someone help her find a house to lodge in?
So hard on mn when we want to offer practical help not just words!

UnbornMortificado Thu 13-Apr-17 20:36:28

I've been hospitalised, it saved my life and I met my DH

I've always had family to look after DD's but I massively sympathise. Could SS help? Would short term fostering be an option?

@Gallavich (hope you don't mind the tag) will know more about how children's services work then I will.

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