I really don't feel able to talk to anyone I know about this.
I've suffered with depression on and off for around 11 years now. I've been off meds for three years, I was ok for around 7 months while off them and then started to feel unwell again. I kind of cycle through how I feel, I go through periods of 'getting by' followed by periods of feeling unsettled, unable to rest or concentrate, feeling detached from reality if I'm honest. I get ideas in my head about what I think I want and make some pretty stupid decisions during these times. Following this I feel down and currently this is where I am at.
I visited the doctor around a year ago, she didn't even look at me when I told her about how I was feeling, she said there was nothing she could do for me because I was breastfeeding and sent me on my way. When I feel at my worst now I ring the samaritans for support. My ds is two now and still breastfeeds during at night, out of habit I know he doesn't need it but it's the only way I can get him to sleep, I need to stop this but don't feel able to cope with the crying. I'm a lone parent and in all honesty I'm exhausted. I know because of this there is no point in going to a doctor.
I can't take feeling like this though. I have suicidal thoughts, which I feel terrible about. I just don't see any other way out of how I'm feeling. The only thing that stops me acting on these feelings are my children. I worry though that one day things will get to much and nothing will stop me. I'm desperate for help and reading my post back to myself I sound utterly pathetic. I just don't know what to do.
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Mental health
Feel so unwell
4 replies
Sunsetoverthetracks · 12/04/2017 10:27
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