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Small steps support thread?

(223 Posts)
Soddingepiphany Wed 12-Apr-17 08:00:31

I was thinking of making some small changes to try to get on top of my anxiety and wondered if anyone wanted to join me? Just recently my anxiety has gone through the roof and I have given myself gastritis with all the stressing, the anxiety is starting to feel overwhelming so I NEED to be proactive, not something that will come easily when I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world!

My plan for this morning is to actually eat even though I feel sick. Then I will get dressed and take my toddler and dog for a walk. My longer term plan is to get on my cross trainer regularly, do some of that mindful colouring (I thought it was a faddy thing but it does help me stop thinking for a while), and to take it one day at a time!

If anyone wants to join me please do.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Wed 12-Apr-17 10:17:49

I have housework for this morning.. not quite as good as a cross trainer but it still helps.. the plus side is the ouse looks tidy for a change!!

Soddingepiphany Wed 12-Apr-17 14:11:33

Itisnoteasy how did you get on with the housework? The walk this morning went well but as per usual the moment I stop the anxiety kicks back in!

Soddingepiphany Wed 12-Apr-17 21:09:50

So I realise I'm talking to myself here but today was good, it started off with almost unbearable anxiety but being proactive and I guess positive meant I ended the day being silly and having fun with my toddler, it was bloody lovely! I actually felt happy which was beginning to feel like a foreign concept to me. I realise this will be a daily battle at least for a while but today was good.

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 07:27:22


hayleyB79 Thu 13-Apr-17 08:01:59

Hi. I can relate to the unbearable anxiety. Well done for trying to do things to make it better. What are your plans for today?

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 08:13:02

I am just pottering around at home this morning but going to my future sister in law's this afternoon for an Easter egg hunt with my DS and fiance. I am still waking up in the morning with horrible anxiety but this morning was a bit better than yesterday at least. I have to try for fear I'll go back to how I was which was pretty much a recluse taking valium and self harming to cope. How are you at the moment with your anxiety Haley?

Elisheva Thu 13-Apr-17 08:24:28

I don't suffer with anxiety anymore, but I used to be a self harmer, constant stomach problems/headaches from stress and worry. I have to say that your approach is the one I used to gain a little bit of control. One tiny aim each day. If I had a whole week planned then I was so much less anxious.
Even now I plan my week, including what I'm going to eat, having it all sorted makes me feel calm. A week with no plans makes me anxious!
Good luck with your endeavours flowers

hayleyB79 Thu 13-Apr-17 08:27:54

That will be good getting outside for the egg hunt this afternoon, it will be a good distraction from the anxiety. I too woke with anxiety, its not a nice way to start the day is it. I need to go food shopping shortly which always seems to exasperate it then will spend the afternoon cleaning as have mil coming tomorrow for the night so need to make sure it looks like I'm on top of everything!

hayleyB79 Thu 13-Apr-17 08:28:52

At least whilst I'm cleaning it keeps the anxiety at bay for a while.

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 09:07:25

Elisheva thank you. One step at a time is definitely my plan for now.

Hayley, I know what you mean about the food shopping and I don't envy you a mil visit, I hate having visitors right now it just feels like too much pressure. Do you get on with your mil?

I think when my OH comes home and my DS is napping I'll take the dog for a walk, that seems to be really helpful recently, my dog is like a furry little valium! For now I am going to make an Easter Egg bonnet with DS, it will probably end in tears and tantrums though!

UnbornMortificado Thu 13-Apr-17 09:10:41

Ooh good idea, I had been stable over a year till ex-arse tried to abduct DD2 on Monday.

I can feel it starting and I need to nip it in the bus especially with being pregnant.

I've mentioned this before on other threads but I'm diagnosed with bi-polar and I have had PTSD in the past. I personally think anxiety is worse then the two put together.

Good to see you posting Hayley flowers

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 11:59:12

Oh unborn that sounds horrible! Well done on being stable for over a year. Do you have any strategies you use to get ahead of the anxiety?

erinaceus Thu 13-Apr-17 12:34:45

Hi all <waves>

I'm on something of a crash course in self-care at the moment and suffering horrendous guilt over it. I have to do one thing to be kind to myself every day and it's a challenge for me.

Today I plan to get a haircut this afternoon. Looking forward to it.

Unborn that does sound horrible.

Lol @ "furry little valium", I like that. Pets can be so helpful.

flowers all. I agree with unborn that anxiety one of the worst feelings to deal with. I find the physical effects unbearable at times. <shudder>

UnbornMortificado Thu 13-Apr-17 12:40:36

Sodding honestly? Medication, I've never been into therapy or counselling although I realise they can work brilliantly for other people.

NotJanine Thu 13-Apr-17 13:28:06

hello hope it is ok to join here

I've been suffering with anxiety for a while now and I agree that it can seem unbearable. I thought depression was bad but at least I feel I can sort of shut down with that. I have got beta blockers but I'm not sure how much of an effect they actually have.

I'm now looking into CBT or other therapies. I've had some counselling but it generally makes me feel worse.

hayleyB79 Thu 13-Apr-17 14:41:02

Thanks unborn. Monday must have been horrendous for you, I can't imagine. I do get on with my mil but her house is super clean and tidy. I'll clean my bathroom and kitchen weekly whereas she would do it daily. I'm actually going back with her for a few days when she leaves for a break and change of environment without the kids as im really in need of a break at the moment and she lives in a different city to me. They say a change is as good as a rest. Easter bonnet making sounds fun, may steal that idea once cleanings done.

hayleyB79 Thu 13-Apr-17 17:16:01

How was your haircut erinaceus? Hi notjanine, I too should be starting CBT in a couple of months, fingers crossed it helps. Anyone else seen an improvement after having CBT? Hope your egg hunt went well sodding.

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 18:38:40

Hi erinaceus, I know what you mean about the guilt that comes with self care but it's so important, you shouldn't feel guilty, other people do it without a second thought, I think us anxious types have a tendency to be too hard on ourselves.

Hayley, I found CBT immensely helpful, especially for challenging skewed ways of thinking and negative self beliefs.

NotJanine, I also found counselling made things worse, it's like you dredge up all this horrible stuff and that's it.

NotJanine Thu 13-Apr-17 20:48:40

Sodding - good to hear you've had positive results from CBT. With the counselling I had, I just sat and recounted the horrible stuff I've been going through. Then it would be the end of the session and I'd have to leave feeling awful. When you're feeling desperate you need to be given some sign of hope and direction, some plan to a way out.

I was very lucky this week to be told by my manager to take what time I need and work from home if needed. (Events this week have led to acute symptoms for me)

I've also keep meaning to listen to some relaxation recordings. Anyone know any good ones on YouTube?

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 21:34:59

NotJanine, I can't advise on any relaxation recordings but I do really rate Yoga, if you look for Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube she has ones especially for when you are stressed or anxious, nothing strenuous and Adrienne herself isn't irritating like some Yoga instructors can be.

I might look up some relaxation recordings but have to admit I am practically incapable of 'relaxing', I think that's why yoga appeals because it still feels like you're doing something, does anybody else find they are just wired that way and can't just 'be'?

NotJanine Thu 13-Apr-17 21:53:53

Thanks. I have tried a bit of yoga, but not enough to really get something out of it.

I know what you mean about being unable to relax. I almost feel too scared to just listen to something as I don't know what my mind will do if I'm not busy. I used to read all the time but now I just can't do it.

Soddingepiphany Thu 13-Apr-17 22:04:56

It sucks doesn't it? Like you are on a hamster wheel and if you stop the anxiety will get you but stopping​ is exactly what you need to do! I guess maybe it's a case of finding the right way to stop? Once I get a bit more of a handle on this bad patch of anxiety I might look into mindfulness, learning to quiet my thoughts sounds bloody lovely. Apparently it's a bit more in depth than my previous attempts of telling my wandering and intrusive thoughts to "Shut the f*ck up!" blush

TheGrumpySquirrel Thu 13-Apr-17 22:14:01

Please can I join? I got my anxiety under control after 2yrs of meds, came off them in 2012 and now manage fine with yoga and making sure I sleep well, as well as actively managing my thoughts / diazepam for flying
BUT ,..
I'm now nearly 6wks pregnant (2nd DC) and I'm terrified, don't know why, and I need to eat (I can't eat very much at all when I get anxious). I hate feeling this out of control of my body. I was fine with DD but that pregnancy was 12 years ago.
My small step is going to be eat toast and an apple tomorrow morning.

NotJanine Thu 13-Apr-17 22:40:45

Sodding - I have done some mindfulness. I took a course and I did find it helpful as I could actually get involved once I was there in the room with nothing else to do. I wasn't that good at keeping it up at home on my own though. I think when you are having a particularly tough time it is hard to do (the teacher did say this) but even the smallest things can help.

A lot of what we did was guided meditations where you focus on your breathing and if you feel your thoughts drifting you try and bring yourself back to your breathing. You don't fight the thoughts, you just let them pass and don't engage with them. I did actually have one experience where I felt I was doing that, it was sort of like they were on a telly in the background. There's no right or wrong with mindfulness either, which is good, you just do your best and congratulate yourself for trying.

I think if you can do it regularly and learn not to engage with your thoughts, live in the moment, the effects can be amazing.

Squirrel - I've struggled with eating over the past few days, I know how you feel. Even when I have eaten I've been retching. I was going to to go and buy some milk shakes or meal replacement drinks, but I've not got the energy to actually go out. Maybe I will be able to tomorrow. How long have you been feeling like this?

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