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Doctors tomorrow getting anxious now

(16 Posts)
Hidingtonothing Tue 11-Apr-17 23:18:09

Have known I'm not well again for quite a while now and have finally plucked up courage to see a GP. Thing is I really struggle with keeping appointments when I feel like this and I'm wondering if anyone has any tips to help me not chicken out and cancel it?

I get really anxious about going out at the best of times and especially if I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I don't know why that makes me anxious but it does. And then knowing I have to talk about how I'm feeling with a complete stranger, you get a different Dr every time at my surgery and I haven't seen this one before. I looked him up on the surgery website and he looks a bit stern and not very approachable so I hope he's better 'in the flesh' so to speak.

Why is this so bloody hard? I've done it before and I know I will feel better for having done something proactive about how I'm feeling so why does the thought of having to go feel like such a sodding mountain to climb?

Wolfiefan Tue 11-Apr-17 23:21:59

Because you're not well! Can you write something down so that if words fail you can just hand it over?
Want a virtual handhold tomorrow or a poke to get you there? I get it. I really do. But this is the start of you feeling so much better. It really is. flowers

Hidingtonothing Tue 11-Apr-17 23:28:24

Oh god yes please Wolfie, that'd be great thanks smile I deliberately made the appointment for late in the day (5.20pm) so I have time to talk myself out of and then back into going blush Also anxiety kicks off my IBS so I fully expect to be glued to the loo til at least lunchtime. I hate this, worst of it is I know I will be fine as soon as it's over, it's just getting myself there that's so hard.

Wolfiefan Tue 11-Apr-17 23:32:05

It is hard. It really is. If you've never been there then you can't possibly understand. Plan out what you want to say and seriously just hand it over if you can't get the words out.
No expert but depression and anxiety meant I ended up giving up my job. Citalopram and CBT got me back on my feet. I still slip. But at least I have the tools to cope.
You can do this OP. You can.

Hidingtonothing Tue 11-Apr-17 23:50:43

I know you're right, it's not the first time I've had to do it and I know it will be fine once I get there, it's just the getting there I struggle with. I've had depression several times but ended up with PTSD after an incident about 4 years ago and find the anxiety side of it much harder to deal with. It's stops me doing so much and then I feel like a failure which just seems to make me more depressed, it's a proper vicious circle. I should've asked for some help ages ago, I've been off meds for 2 years and felt it creeping back in months ago, I'm an idiot for leaving it this long.

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Apr-17 07:49:29

You're not an idiot at all. I find the slide can be really slow. It isn't a sudden drop into depression. It takes a while to realise you're back there again.

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 14:21:49

True but I'm an old hand, I should have realised sooner really. As predicted I'm sitting here now convincing myself it's not that bad, that I don't need a doctor and fighting the urge to cancel the appointment. It's like an internal battle between what I know I should do (go, obviously) and what I want to do, which is chicken out so this horrible anxious feeling will go away. I'm making all sorts of excuses to myself, maybe late in the day was the wrong time to book it for, I have too much time to get worked up about it (even though I know I wouldn't have managed a morning appointment any better), maybe I'd be better cancelling and trying to get an appointment with one of the doctors I've seen before, maybe I should give it a few more weeks and see if I feel any better etc etc. It's ridiculous, I know I need to just bite the bullet and get it over with but I'm just not sure I can.

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Apr-17 14:26:40

You can. You really can. And you will only beat yourself up about it if you don't go and slip further.
Plan the time until you need to go. Make sure you are ready in plenty of time. Have you prepared anything to take with you?
Come on Hiding. You can do this!!

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 14:38:43

Not actually too worried about what to say, on past experience it will all come flooding out once I'm in there, it literally is just the getting there that's the problem. Feel like I'm calming down a bit again now, thanks Wolfie, you're right I can do this. DH is unexpectedly home early and is going to come with me which will help massively, he's brilliant at distracting me so I don't overthink and make myself more anxious. Mind you he's just asked if I want to go the pub to kill the time til the appointment, not sure that's a good idea grin

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Apr-17 14:59:26

Haha. Pub sounds bloody awesome. I would love to be sitting in a pub garden right now. Stuck at home with sleeping puppy and two kids so that's not happening!
DH sounds awesome BTW. Makes such a difference to have that support.

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 15:17:12

He is awesome in lots of ways, still can't put his dirty pants in the washing basket though grin I'm jealous you have a puppy now, mine are all grown up and I miss the puppy days. Going to take the dogs for a run now, kill some time so I don't sit here and work myself up, shouldn't be too far off appointment time by the time we've done that so fingers crossed I can just crack on and get it over with. Thanks for helping me calm down, will let you know how it goes flowers

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Apr-17 17:45:48

How did it go? Wolfiepup wants to know!

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 18:01:30

Well that was double quick, have even been to the chemist to get my prescription and walked the 10 minutes home in that time! Doc was better than I expected from his photo, a bit brusque and no nonsense but I'm not sure that was a bad thing, I even managed not to cry grin He's just given me low dose Sertraline for now, see him again in 3 weeks to see how I'm doing. No referral to the CPN this time but I'm glad tbh, I've never really got anything out of seeing them and it would just be more appointments to get worked up about. I can self refer for talking therapy but the Sertraline may well be enough to do the trick so I'll see how it goes, waiting time is massive round here anyway so I probably won't need it by the time I would get seen. He's booked me in for a thyroid test as well just to be sure there's nothing else going on. So all good really, I was only out of the house half an hour all in smile

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 18:02:26

Oh Wolfiepup is gorgeous! Thanks for asking Wolfie flowers

Wolfiefan Wed 12-Apr-17 18:04:58

But half an hour well spent. Hope the Setraline does the trick. Good luck and well done OP. flowers

Hidingtonothing Wed 12-Apr-17 18:08:20

Thank you flowers

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