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Anxiety attacks

(3 Posts)
Bedezz Sun 09-Apr-17 13:07:59

Hi all, I'm a complete newbie (mum and Mumsnet user!) so please be kind. grin)

I think I've had low level anxiety building since my daughter was born 8 months ago. Over the last couple of weeks it's really taken over. I'm worrying that everything is catastrophic and I see perceived threats everywhere which could harm me or my little one and I get myself worked into such a state.

My LO had gastroenteritis a couple of weeks ago and I was obsessing about her poo and convinced myself she had a liver disorder. I was obsessed with this thought that she might have this liver disorder the Internet mentioned and I was deaf to all reasonable arguments from family that she didn't have it but all I could think about was what if she does.

I've developed a sore boob (I'm currently weaning) and I'm now convinced it's breast cancer as I felt a round lump inside at the side of my boob (are milk ducts round?). There are no physical changes to my boob but I can't shake the awful sick feeling and the trembling and obsessing that I might have breast cancer.

I was harassed by a man while pushing my daughter in her buggy and I was so intimated and too scared to go home and when I was home I was too scared to answer the door in case it was him looking for me and all I could think was what if he attacked me and stole my daughter which led to another nerve attack and I don't/can't believe all the logical arguments that my hubby tries to say to me. I'm still nervous about going out alone because what if (those words again) he's waiting for me and attacks me or steals my little one.

I'm also worrying because I love my hubby but don't fancy him (even though I would turn down David Beckham or George Clooney and still choose my hubs) and we don't have sex any more (my choice as I've zero sex drive and have had for as long as I can remember). I don't want to continue like this.

I've left a message for a counselling line but they take 3-5 days to respond and I'm slowly going mad. I'm also so tired as my daughter slept great when she was a newborn and now she's not a great sleeper. Late to bed as she won't settle, up 3-4 times through the night and then up early. The other night we had a 2am-5am play session as she was wide awake and wouldn't go back down. Fed up with feeling sick, fed up with being so very tired and fed up fending off my nerve attack. I just feel guilty, disenchanted and nervous so I'm pretty unhappy right now.

Can anyone help put my mind at rest?

NolongerAnxiousCarer Sun 09-Apr-17 13:14:08

Hi, well done for calling the councelling line. I would also have a chat with your GP or HV about how you are feeling. I would also get your GPs opinion on your breast lump. Hopefully they will be able to reassure you and if they think it needs checking out they will arrange this. I would tackle the anxiety first as anxiety/depression can affect your sex drive too.

Bedezz Sun 09-Apr-17 13:25:55

Thank you Nolonger. It was my GP who gave me the number for the counselling line and she said while she didn't think I was depressed (and nor did I at the time), she thought it would be worth me speaking to someone about the anxiety. I don't find the HV particularly helpful and there is sometimes a bit of a language barrier (I'm British and they're not and don't always understand what I'm trying to say) so I've tended to see the GP recently. I'm definitely going to call the GP about my sore breast. Even though I suspect they'll say it's a blocked milk duct or something, I can't shake the fear that it's something more serious. Monday feels very far away right now! x

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