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Tomorrow is a new day

(6 Posts)
Screamifuwant2gofaster Sat 08-Apr-17 23:24:53

For the majority of my marriage to a man who has, most likely a combination of depression, anxiety and aspergers, I have been depressed. Whole days are regularly wasted as I just pass the time doing nothin, wishing he cared. Sometimes I've self harmed. I dread weekends. I feel sad most of the time.
I'm pregnant and worried sick about the future.
I've decided to take complete responsibilty for my own well being from tomorrow. I'm going to try and make sure I have good days regardless of my husbands moods. Maybe we will separate but either way I'm going to start taking control of my life.
Was thinking of updating how I'm getting on daily.
Anyone fancy joining me in a bit of self help? My initial goals are to try not to self harm, to have full days, to eat well, drink plenty and not to shout. Might be a bit over ambitious. Anyone??

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 09-Apr-17 05:51:12

In the Not Easy household, I am the one with MH problems. I rally don't know how my DW managed to put up with me for so long. But we are both really glad she didn't walk.

You can't hold someone who is depressed up all the time. Certainly, you don't do him any good by making yourself ill trying. What help does he have? I hope you don't split up because he will end up in a very bad way. (I know I would have).

NolongerAnxiousCarer Sun 09-Apr-17 10:42:19

Good for you scream I've been doing this for a good few yesrs now and its actually had a really positive effect of our relationship. I do things for me and that make me happy and keep me healthy. That means I'm in a better place to be supportive of him and I think we are both happier for it. Certainly our relationship feels more equal. Ultimately you have to do the right thing for you and your baby. If that includes your DH great, if it doesn't so be it. You might find a bit of resistance at first as the change may scare him but stick with it. DH now actively encourages me to do things for myself, now hes seen the benefit.

Things I do for myself are:
Going to the gym
Going to galleries
Painting/drawing
Knitting
Garderning

What things are you going to do for you?

Screamifuwant2gofaster Sun 09-Apr-17 21:41:50

It's been a good day- no s/h, no shouting. Eaten ok. Need to drink more but that wasn't anything to do with hubbie.

We had a day at the beach. Think it did us both good.

Good question nolonger, can't think of anything I do just for me....except having nice long baths. Need to think of some I can do for me.

Tomorrows goals:
Same as today and bed by 10. Might see if we can manage a swim together in the evening. :-).

Itsnoteasy- I agree he will be a mess if we split but that can't be the only reason we stay together. I hope we can survive but I don't know.

He's agreed to see gp next week to ask about antidepressants. This is a huge step- he has never taken anything ever.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Mon 10-Apr-17 13:42:33

Glad you had a good day, maybe think about what it was that made it a good day and build on those things for tomorrow.

My PTSD has flared up big time, so I need to do lots of self care right now. Off work sick so going to go to the gym this aft.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Wed 12-Apr-17 14:28:28

How it going scream?

I've booked today off work for self care. Been to therapist, planning on gym this aft. Currently cuddling my furbaby and planning arts and crafts for this evening.

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