Awful day : therapist appears to have lied to me.

[Woollymammoth63]

Such a bad day today. I enrolled on a course my therapist suggested run by her friend / colleague and basically, from the wording of her e mail, she let slip that actually the person running the course was also her supervisor who she discusses cases with . Although she denied it, it's clear to me that she has shared my case as part of her supervision, and that this person actually knows who I am, and now I have enrolled on her course in our very small town, and in fact was just about to book a themed holiday with the same person.
Now had I known this, I might have been ok with it, but its just the fact I would have gone along not realising, and that confidentiality has been broken because my actual identity has been revealed, ( supervision should not reveal names) and also worst of all she has lied to me, saying no names have been mentioned but it's clear it has. When I challenged her, she initially reassured me there was no way my identity had been revealed, but then afterwards she backtracked and said she would have to think about what to say. I have terminated the therapy which I have been having for about 14 months now, and still need. What a mess.

[BigGrannyPants]

OP I think she has broken rules, you should make a complaint

[Woollymammoth63]

It seems so. She hasn't admitted it but in her refusal to answer and from the e mail exchange it's clear. Unfortunately several issues have been discussed over time. I thought initially , worst case scenario the supervisor might guess my identity from putting two and two together but now I'm pretty convinced she actually knows my identuty, that I am signed up for the course just haven't met her yet. Not sure whether to cancel.

[kittybiscuits]

First names can be used in supervision. But your therapist (and her supervisor) have exercised very poor boundaries. Do you know if your counsellor is a BACP member? I'm sorry you were put in this position. Her lack of a transparent explanation is really not okay.

[Woollymammoth63]

My first name is one of a kind , literally. I have a common name as my actual first name but my middle name by which I am known is literally a one off.

[kittybiscuits]

Your therapist should have considered this. And not encouraged you onto a course run by her supervisor. Are the counsellor and supervisor planning a holiday together?

[Woollymammoth63]

Her explanation said no names used in supervision and that the supervisor will not know me on the course. But that doesn't fir with the slip on the previous e mails and no explanation since I challenged her in this. I would like someone to see the e mails and see what they thought but I havent got anyone, unless I do it at work, I'm in a similar field.

[kittybiscuits]

It sounds like she has not stuck to the contracted agreement then.

[Woollymammoth63]

She has previously been on this themed holiday and she suggested it to me . I said I am ok if she happens to be on the same holiday at the same time- obviously that would have been discussed further. I asked to to ask me if she wished to know which themed holiday I intended to book. This was just last week and I haven't seen her since.
The confidentiality break is subtle, but I think I believe it's the only thing that makes sense of the e mails.

[Woollymammoth63]

The themed weeks holiday is by the same supervisor- she has introduced me to and encouraged me onto both.

[kittybiscuits]

It all shows poor boundaries, as an additional issue to the confidentiality one.

[Woollymammoth63]

I knew this woman was her therapist and has provided previous supervision, I didn't know she was providing supervision for my actual case. Even if that were so, if it were totally anonymised it would be ok. But it seems from the e mail that she knows who I am. She said ' don't worry about confidentiality, X is totally professional, and we have agreed we won't discuss you in supervision during the time of the course' seems clear to me .

[kittybiscuits]

I don't think it can be more clear that your counsellor has breached confidentiality. Her therapist should also not be her supervisor and they should not holiday together. Do you know about BACP membership?

[Woollymammoth63]

Unfortunately I have just started joining some of the activities iron my area all frequented and run by the same 'group' of women, and have just become friendly with the owner of the themed holiday company too. I do feel that the supervisor psychotherapist won't say anything, but it's awkward going to her course or holiday and she secretly has ,y entire , very sensitive background. Not to mention dh is a professional in same area we live. What a mess.
I will have to look on LinkedIn. She is a qualified psychologist.

[Woollymammoth63]

Kitty: do you think so, from my e mail quote? I nearly showed someone at work the e mails yesterday but wanted to think about it first.

[Woollymammoth63]

No reason for group to be in " "

[Woollymammoth63]

I also wonder who else in my area are involved in my supervision, this is something she should have informed me of, as I say I am working currently in the same field and there could very easily be loss of confidentiality even into the workplace. And when I look for a new therapist.

[kittybiscuits]

You seem full of self doubt Woolly. It all sounds very incestuous. This is exactly why boundaries are so important.

[Woollymammoth63]

Yes self doubt is one of the reasons I went into therapy, for confidence and anxiety after bullying, then looked at the background.
I have been a lot better.
I am looking for others to validate whether this is a breach as obviously she has denied it and now says she will have to get back to me at some point.
So yes I am self doubting.
Do you think there is a clear breach ?

[kittybiscuits]

It is a clear breach

[Woollymammoth63]

Thank you. She is a very kind though slightly flakey therapist. The area in which we live is rural and everyone knows everyone, there's a lot of linking up of who everyone is. Added to that I actually have similar background.