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Have you felt better after hitting rock bottom? Feel like I'll never get back to happy.(9 Posts)
A year ago i had a bad patch in my relationship that brought on a pretty awful mental health period. I cannot seem to keep my head above water since. I have made changes, I've had lots of help. But i have utterly lost myself and everything I was before.
The most dire options/solutions are never far from my mind. It feels like i will never get back to being ok.
I am starting to wonder, when opting out has felt like a viable course of action, does it ever go away? Will that always be something my mind turns to?
I was so so ok for 40 years of my life, despite life not being ok. I was strong. I was without doubt a positive person. Yet i feel so defeated now.
My rock bottom was 15 years ago now, I was suicidal. Yes it is possible to recover. I had 10 good years before life circumstances threatened to tip me over the edge. That time I recognised the signs and got on ADs early and didn't get nearly as low again I recovered well. This time its PTSD, so its been very different, but I'm recovering,
I know it doesnt feel like it at the time, but things will get better.
What no longer said..
It does take time. It took me about five years to got over the initial breakdown and another three or four to get back to being an almost fully functioning human. I now understand I will never be "normal", but thats OK because I'm a bear... (that's the last line from Paddington and an old username I had).
Time is a great healer. But when you are very unwell you can't remember feeling healthy.
Thanks both. Maybe a year isn't so long. It feels like a long time.
I didn't think of myself as unwell. Maybe i am.
Thanks for your honesty.
It takes so much longer to get better than I think we realise, and its really hard to see the wood for the trees when we are in the middle of it. Some people have an episode of depression recover fully and stay well. Some people need to take medication long term to stay well. Some people have a few episodes over their life, like me, but manage well without medication for many years inbetween. I think the most important thing is learning to recognise the early signs and getting help early. Also learning what things you need to do to maintain your own mental health.
I don't like talking about thi period in my life as I want to forget it.
But it may help you.
About two years ago absolutely everything went wrong for me, I mean every aspect of my life and I had no support whatsoever, infact the opposite. I was abroad and solely responsible for DD with a largely abusive H who lived separately.
I didn't eat properly, couldn't sleep and was living on my nerves. Literally. I could hardly see the point of carrying on and had zero confidence. Unbelievable now.
One day my nerves reversed themselves and I was paralysed and spent 4 months in hospital, unable to move. I cannot describe this to you. It was horrendous.
At this point, some kind rehab people taught me to walk again.
At this stage to make a cup of coffee, walk my daughter to school, to step outside, to make a bowl of pasta, type on the internet, write, have a bath, anything, would have been a miracle.
Yep, you hit rock bottom and become grateful for anything. Mine was a very, very rare case but it happens.
Look after yourself and appreciate the tiny, tiny things. When everythin, the ability to move and walk and go to the loo has been taken away from you, anything is miraculous.
I can't figure where i am in the process. I stopped medication a while back, didn't feel it was helping. I got a lot better but there's a lot we haven't talked about in therapy that I'm not sure we ever will. I feel like I'm struggling more than usual since trying to talk about some of it. In particular in a bout of bad dreams the last week where they seem to be blurring with reality. i spent a day thinking something had happened before realising it hadn't. I actually searched for something to prove to myself it was a dream.
Anyway that's all beside the point. I was just disappointed to realise that things could send me straight to feeling the extreme feelings again. Maybe i haven't "relapsed" I'm still just getting better.
It's interesting that you both talk about knowing the signs. I don't think I have that much self awareness around this yet. I see my therapist in a few weeks again. Can talk about all this then. Trying to hold off till then rather than seeing gp.
I can see there are a lot of interesting threads on this board just now but I'm not sure if it's helpful to read or not so thanks for responding here.
danTDM i typed the above before seeing your post. I'm sorry, that sounds horrendous. And scary. I'm very glad for you that that has passed. Thank you for sharing.
I think you're getting there superman and it is a long process. All I can suggest is literally taking the smallest amount of joy in the tiniest thing every day, but MOST of all, good nutrition. I can't tell you enough how important it is for your body in times of stress.
If you find trouble eating, a vitamin pill. Sleep, walk, eat and drink. The rest will follow. I truly believe it.
For me medication was the key to feeling better. I had councelling too, which was really helpful, but on its own wasn't enough (I tried it) The first AD isn't necessarily the right one, sometimes it takes a few goes to find one that works for you. They reccommend continuing with ADs for at least 6 months after they reach full effect (you feel back to normal) aswell.
Also in addition to what PP said about nutrition, ask to have your vitamin D levels checked. Low levels can lead to anxiety and depression. I'm feeling a lot better since I've been prescribed a super high vit D suplement.
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