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mental health being used against me for custody... help please

(2 Posts)
user1484644662 Sat 01-Apr-17 19:05:50

I wanted to see if anyone can advise me regarding a court case and section 7 report being conducted by social services.
I am in court with the father of my child regarding his contact with my son. He said some concerning things to him and social services advised contact to be stopped until they could talk to him about it, and told me to go to court to get advice in the meantime.
We had our first hearing and my sons father did not speak to social workers until that day. He brought up my past mental health issues and blamed my "severe attachment issues" as the reason that my son does not want to go to him. In reality, he is harsh and controlling and was emotionally abusive towards me and that is the reason i left him 4 years ago. I can only assume the reason my son doesnt want to go to him is because he isnt always very nice, because he is perfectly happy to go and stay over with my parents and asks for sleepovers at his friends houses. Goes to school just fine (just walks in), and forms healthy relationships with both his peers and adults.
I do not want to go into loads of detail but yes, I was suffering with my mental health while with him, however it was triggered in a big part by him cheating on me and abusing me. He turned his phone off while I was in labour and showed up 4 hours after I called him. He always left and turned off his phone, and did so many things to make me feel insecure, plus I had nothing going on in my life so Id call him repeatedly and beg him to stay.
4 years on, 2 years of counselling and a whole new life later, I am in a totally different place. I have not self harmed since i left him, and have a new relationship in which I feel much stronger and able to cope with things. I know I am fine with or without my partner.
I am calm with my kids and use positive discipline. They are confident, outgoing, and have healthy attachment with me and the others around them.
I have a supportive family.
I have hobbies, have put on weight (I suffered with eating disorders, now I lovveeee food). Dont smoke, hardly drink.
I am in a totally different place.
BUT.
I am anxious in this moment. The report being conducted will decide who my son lives with, whether he should have contact with the other parent and if so, how much contact he should have.
At the moment he lives with me and has regular weekly contact with his dad. He is at school close to my house and is doing great there. He has 2 siblings who he loves dearly and a lovely home.
His dad is in shared accomodation and smokes weed (he says he has quit but i doubt it).
BUT he is also very, very, very charming and manipulative. And I already feel the social worker taking his side but its difficult to pinpoint why. I have this horrible, horrible feeling my past is going to catch up with me. I have a lot on record, though it is very old, I worry that between that and what he might say (and make up as he lies and twists things), i could end up losing my son to him
any advice, experience sharing, opinions, anything, will be so appreciated. Im finding it hard to settle in all this

AtSea1979 Sat 01-Apr-17 19:15:25

I had a S7 report via CAFCASS which went on to form a S37 report. My MH history was used against me. It's been an horrendous 18 months. Get yourself good legal representation. I didn't and got screwed over royally by XH barrister.

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