Shitty day today

[user1487175389]

This evening went on forever. It took me FOUR HOURS to comb the frickin nits out of the dcs hair (and my hair)! nothing flpping works. the nits are immune to everything.

Had suicidal thoughts. ds was just screaming blue murder because i wouldnt let him hit the TV and electrocute himself. Dd was telling me how much she hates me because of all my failures. The neighbours suspect me of being abusive because my children scream so much. But I don't scream back, most of the time. I'm so flipping patient even when I'm screaming inside. I have no help from anyone.

Friends have disappeared. or people I thought were friends. Ex is an abusive arse. I'm unemployable. Another sodding birthday with no money, no prospects, no time to even look for a job because ds is so awful the nursery will only take him for a couple of hours a week. My parents only want to be involved so they can reel me back in to their enabler/narcissist dynamic. They won't take no for answer. A 'no' from me means nothing. They know it, my dcs know it. Meanwhile ex has the perfect home, the perfect set up. And what do I have? A few more decades of grinding myself into the ground, for nobody to see. Who would even come to my funeral?

[MissGoggins]

This sounds overwhelming. Do you have a crisis plan for days like this?

I like to 'force' myself to meditate for just two minutes, but really commit to the two minutes. If I can stomach more I will move onto a body scan.

Nits are the worst! for that four hours of hell!

[user1487175389]

Thanks. I don't really have a plan as such.

Meditation sounds good. I do yoga most days if I can squeeze it in. Sometimes it's just waiting for the yelling to stop that's the hard part.

I feel so guilty as we never seem able to completely eliminate them. I can get to the stage where they have a nit each, and I comb it out and think 'got the bugger' but then the next day they'll be back to four nits each and so on. Presumably that's from playing with friends at school? Or just my shitty combing skills? My poor kids, I think they've forgotten what it's like not to have nits. No wonder they're angry. I'm the world's shittiest mum.

[Wolfiefan]

You're really not. Can you get an overnight treatment for nits too. Nuke the buggers!
What support do you have with the kids? What have nursery or health visitor suggested? You need help and support.

[Lilybensmum1]

That sounds really rough it's good you are doing yoga, don't really know what to suggest, from what you describe it sounds like the kids are doing ok yes they shout and hate you, that's parenting. I hope tomorrow is a little easier.