Was doing great but struggling now

[Alfiemoon1]

Been doing great on sertraline although I know I need to take the full 50 g tablet but have been ticking along ok. Had a meltdown on Sunday night it had been brewing the last few week just general stuff no help round the house mad busy with the kids. Sunday are a nightmare anyway plus no effort made for Mother's Day not proud of myself I lost it. Spoke to my friend who thinks I have good reason and maybe I should lose it more often as basically my family take the piss. Sorted it all out with dd not really speaking to dh though. I am taking sertraline to move on from problems with dh a friendship with an ow that although nothing caused me a lot of upset and I couldn't stop dragging it all up. She has a horse at our yard. Long story short had new shoes on our horse missed the farrier so hadn't paid him ow uses the sameone so dh casually mentioned he will be coming out soon to do her horse so can pay him then fine but no because I am for whatever reason struggling tonight I am like u have no contact with her so u won't know when he's coming. Oh so sorting when he's coming will take 20 deleted WhatsApp messages 10 midnight (he works nights she only called him at work) I had got passed all these thoughts and sarky comments why now? We have both been making and effort and things have been ok why have I suddenly taken 10 steps back

[NolongerAnxiousCarer]

we all have bad days sometimes, even when our MH is good. It does sound like you were justified in snapping at DH though, he can't expect you to suddenly forget everything thats happened in the past.

[Alfiemoon1]

Thanks no longer I am mortified at losing it as I think dd was on Skype at the time eek. I had been chunnering for weeks about rushing round on Sundays but it seems to take me losing it for anyone to take any notice. I have started on the full 50 sertraline that I should have done weeks possibly months ago but thought I was doing ok on 25 so hopefully that will help. I shouldn't have brought the past up but after my meltdown on Sunday it would of been nice of dh to ask if I was ok how I was feeling rather than stop speaking to me as it's really out of character for me to lose it in front of the kids. I have a lot of resentment over the kids activities on Sundays as my over generous sister has organised and paid for them as a surprise but it's me who does all the running around while she does what she wants plus I work Saturdays dh works shifts so just gets up for his hobby with the kids or he has been off the last 2 Sundays but has gone for an afternoon nap to prepare for his hobby pfft. It's the only day off we sometimes get together all of us and I would like to go out for the day as a family. I just feel like I constantly run round after everyone like I have no control over my life - I said no to a horse so my sister bought dd one which I have to see to but not pay for. She paid for ds to join a golf club but I have to take him there After numerous rows dh over ruled dd bedtime he's not around for it but I can't even chose when I go to bed. No I am not a troll as I have been accused of before I genuinely have an over generous but controlling older sister who means well but I resent it