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Zopiclone, anxiety and open heart surgery.. Help my life is a mess😢

(3 Posts)
Takenoshit Tue 28-Mar-17 11:04:00

Hi guys..
Okay so I'll start by giving you a list of my illnesses:
Anxiety servere,
Depression servere,
Aortic stenosis due to scar tissue because of previous open heart surgery from a nasty infection that nearly killed me,
Postperfusion syndrome, which is a brain impairment caused by the heart lung machine I was on during previous surgery.
It includes, memory loss, concentration loss, forgetting words and the list goes on.

Basically I'm fed up and im listed for urgent open heart surgery soon. Which has sent my anxiety through the roof.

I've 3 boys and a new baby girl 5months so I'm already exhausted.

I'm on a whole bunch of meds.. Warfarin because u currently have a mechanical heart valve. Asprin, Bisoprsol, Tinzaparin, omeprazol and they prescribed me 2mg of Temazapam that hasn't worked so I stopped taking it. Oh and sertraline which is slowly helping my case.

I'm really sorry I'm wittering on but I wanted you all to understand my background. I have a fiancé also. But he works full time.

My condition means I'm fatigued mosthe of the time, I suffer insomnia and I have vertigo among other things. I've been told it's not longer safe for me to exercise which I loved.

I'm home all day with the baby on my own and do the night feeds because my partner works, plus the school run twice a day and house meals.. ect ect.

I'm not sleeping. My daughter isn't a fantastic sleeper so I struggle anyway.. but she will sleep till at least 2am and then back to sleep at 4am. Problem is I can't get to sleep or get back to sleep.

Then on top of all this because of my memory loss I missed a payment of my council tax bill. I'm in arrears because when my abusive ex left.. he left me I'm debt so equita are on my case. So because I've missed one payment which I've done before they are threatening bailiffs again. They've done this before and added like 200 pounds onto my bill. I only owe 200 pounds to them as it stands and I think that the bailiffs charges.. but I can't afford to pay in full which is what they are asking. I have sent them emails explaining the situation and im waiting a reply.. I am actually ahead of my payments now. Because when I forget I pay double to hopefully counteract the couple days late payment. I'm freaking out about it..

So as you can see my anxiety is through the roof and I've even had suicidal thoughts.. because that way.. I won't be in debt and I won't need to worry about heart surgery. I won't though, I love my babies too much. If I didn't have them I dread to think.

I have social anxiety time the extreme and think everyone dislikes me.

I can't drive so getting from A to b in my condition is hard.

All my family work, so I'm literally alone. Unless my partner is home weekends which is once a fortnight.

My doctor just prescribed zopiclone 3.75mg but I Dare not take it because of the baby. Will I wake for her?

Someone just please tell me I'm not alone because right now my life is a mess.

The house is getting on top of me and I have zero energy to entertain it. Because of a mixture of my illness and anxiety. My partner get frustrated with it. He likes a clean home. But I just can't 😢

NolongerAnxiousCarer Tue 28-Mar-17 18:23:53

flowers you have so much on your plate right now.

Have you spoken to someone like citizens advice, monetry advice or step change about your debt? They might be able to help you iron things out. Would it help to set up direct debits so you don't have to remember the payments. I have a seperate account for direct debits and a standing order to transfer enough money into it when I get paid so I don't have to remember. Would something like this help.

You are poorly right now and your DP needs to recognise that. If he wants the house cleaner, then he will either have to pull his finger out, or pay for a cleaner. (Just wondering if there are any charities that could help with the cleaning, not sure if its something that bhf do?) I have a stock answer if DH moans about aspects of housework not being done something along the line of "theres 2 people in this house responsible for..."

Sorry I'm not sure if any of thats very helpful but didn't want to read and run.

Zoflorabore Wed 29-Mar-17 23:09:27

Hi op I too have many stresses and conditions but nothing as serious as yours, sounds like you need to offload.

Re the zopiclone, I was prescribed it in November for severe insomnia and am now kind of addicted to it but here's the strange thing- some nights it works and others it's horrific, for example last night I took it at 10, was asleep at 12 and wide awake just after 3am, got dc off to school and slept most of the day.

You obviously will have different experiences but I thought it was a magic pill that would make me sleep, it does make me sleep- usually the day after which is no good whatsoever, I've got my first Cbt tomorrow and am deciding whether or not to take the tablet.

Very best of luck flowers

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