Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Need to get my act together

(5 Posts)
quckingduck22 Mon 20-Mar-17 08:37:53

I've recently been diagnosed with depression (also social anxiety) after 7 months of not understanding what was happening to me. After being diagnosed I took the prescription from the doctors but didn't start taking the meds for a while as I couldn't get my head around it all and had misconceptions that I would be on medication forever.

I finally gave in and started taking the meds, not because of the depression (at the time I refused to believe I was) but because I was suffering terrible headaches daily and on occasion migraines.

As soon as I started taking the meds I felt a weight had been lifted. My headaches almost instantly stopped and when I did get them paracetamol worked, previously I had taken all different pain relief including tramadol and cocodomol that I had taken (left over from a painful accident my husband had) they didn't touch the sides.

Since the depression started I lost all interest in myself and my self worth, I no longer care about my appearance or weight. Previously well just before the depression hit I was loosing weight and had become obsessed. I was just 1 lb away from a 3stone weight loss. But I have not stepped foot on the scales since. I know I've gained a lot if not all of it back.

Since the depression hit I did barley did any house work. I washed the dishes, cooked daily but everything else went out the window. Even my business has suffered. All I did was sit in a chair staring into thin air. I lost all interest in everything. Then at night couldn't sleep and was constantly thinking trying to process it all.

I also stopped going out the house, for months unless I was doing the school run Or taking my dogs out I just wouldn't go out (unless it was essential basically for my DD or to my animals care e.g. Walks and vet twice) I closed myself off to the outside world, my friends did try and would turn up unannounced and I would just hide and pretend I was in the shower or out.

Since taking the medication, I've got my mojo back, made a huge improvement to the house. I've actually gone the other way and am obsessed with cleaning. I don't know if I'm over compensating for the last few months of doing the bare minimum.

But I'm finding it difficult to find myself, I can't look in the mirror and I put all my effort into cleaning my house I have no time for me anymore.

I bought new clothes, lots of them yet can't bare to wear them. I've not washed my hair for two weeks. I've just lost myself.

In myself I feel fine now, happy and well again but I'm still not myself.

How can I help myself?

NolongerAnxiousCarer Mon 20-Mar-17 21:22:34

What you describe sounds typical of depression. Its really good that the anti depressants are helping. When you have been that low it takes a long time to get better. Set your self small achievable goals, e.g washing your hair. You will get there one step at a time.

highinthesky Mon 20-Mar-17 21:26:46

Sometimes making a list to tick off can help.

Even if it is as basic as:
- get out of bed
- brush teeth
- shower

etc....

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Mon 20-Mar-17 21:40:06

As No Longer says,
Sounds like depfession good and proper. The fact the meds are helping is another indication it is depression. Regards your question, Can I explain my situation to give you something to go on?

I had a significant episode about nine years ago. Full on dressing gown mob. bairly functioning. From my personal experience, it takes time. This is not something you come out of in a fortnight. or even a month. I got back to being a functioning human in about three months then had a short relapse bought on by work attitude. After that I was able to get along and pretty well, but I really think it took a year or more before I was in the clear. What was good was that every month was better than the previous one!

Once I realised I was seriously ill, I let it wash over me and stopped trying. The simple act of taking the pressure off helped me no end. Somehow I knew I would recover. And I have as much as I can.

quckingduck22 Tue 21-Mar-17 08:34:59

Thanks for your replies.

A list actually sounds a fantastic idea. I may use the reminder function on my phone as It's set once and will automatically go off. I use this to remember to take my ADs as I'm very forgetful as of late,

One step at a time, baby steps.

I'm not sure if I am in the right frame of mind but I'm going to wander over to the diet section of chat and see if I can take small steps to getting back to myself. Again small steps but I don't want to put pressure on myself but I don't want my weight to spiral out of control again.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now