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Need to get my act together(5 Posts)
I've recently been diagnosed with depression (also social anxiety) after 7 months of not understanding what was happening to me. After being diagnosed I took the prescription from the doctors but didn't start taking the meds for a while as I couldn't get my head around it all and had misconceptions that I would be on medication forever.
I finally gave in and started taking the meds, not because of the depression (at the time I refused to believe I was) but because I was suffering terrible headaches daily and on occasion migraines.
As soon as I started taking the meds I felt a weight had been lifted. My headaches almost instantly stopped and when I did get them paracetamol worked, previously I had taken all different pain relief including tramadol and cocodomol that I had taken (left over from a painful accident my husband had) they didn't touch the sides.
Since the depression started I lost all interest in myself and my self worth, I no longer care about my appearance or weight. Previously well just before the depression hit I was loosing weight and had become obsessed. I was just 1 lb away from a 3stone weight loss. But I have not stepped foot on the scales since. I know I've gained a lot if not all of it back.
Since the depression hit I did barley did any house work. I washed the dishes, cooked daily but everything else went out the window. Even my business has suffered. All I did was sit in a chair staring into thin air. I lost all interest in everything. Then at night couldn't sleep and was constantly thinking trying to process it all.
I also stopped going out the house, for months unless I was doing the school run Or taking my dogs out I just wouldn't go out (unless it was essential basically for my DD or to my animals care e.g. Walks and vet twice) I closed myself off to the outside world, my friends did try and would turn up unannounced and I would just hide and pretend I was in the shower or out.
Since taking the medication, I've got my mojo back, made a huge improvement to the house. I've actually gone the other way and am obsessed with cleaning. I don't know if I'm over compensating for the last few months of doing the bare minimum.
But I'm finding it difficult to find myself, I can't look in the mirror and I put all my effort into cleaning my house I have no time for me anymore.
I bought new clothes, lots of them yet can't bare to wear them. I've not washed my hair for two weeks. I've just lost myself.
In myself I feel fine now, happy and well again but I'm still not myself.
How can I help myself?
What you describe sounds typical of depression. Its really good that the anti depressants are helping. When you have been that low it takes a long time to get better. Set your self small achievable goals, e.g washing your hair. You will get there one step at a time.
Sometimes making a list to tick off can help.
Even if it is as basic as:
- get out of bed
- brush teeth
As No Longer says,
Sounds like depfession good and proper. The fact the meds are helping is another indication it is depression. Regards your question, Can I explain my situation to give you something to go on?
I had a significant episode about nine years ago. Full on dressing gown mob. bairly functioning. From my personal experience, it takes time. This is not something you come out of in a fortnight. or even a month. I got back to being a functioning human in about three months then had a short relapse bought on by work attitude. After that I was able to get along and pretty well, but I really think it took a year or more before I was in the clear. What was good was that every month was better than the previous one!
Once I realised I was seriously ill, I let it wash over me and stopped trying. The simple act of taking the pressure off helped me no end. Somehow I knew I would recover. And I have as much as I can.
Thanks for your replies.
A list actually sounds a fantastic idea. I may use the reminder function on my phone as It's set once and will automatically go off. I use this to remember to take my ADs as I'm very forgetful as of late,
One step at a time, baby steps.
I'm not sure if I am in the right frame of mind but I'm going to wander over to the diet section of chat and see if I can take small steps to getting back to myself. Again small steps but I don't want to put pressure on myself but I don't want my weight to spiral out of control again.
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