My daughter is nearly 2 and I've struggled since she was born. Being a mum and the relentlessness has been a challenge, but I love her more than anything and I meet every challenge and my husband is fantastic with her.
I lost my mum in December after a shock cancer diagnosis and a short but traumatic decline. We had an uneasy relationship at times, but she lived for her children and grandchildren and we were very much loved. I miss her so much it makes me ache.
Recently I'm really struggling at work. Everything has been an effort, since having my daughter, but more so since losing mum. I've been going to counselling and it helps, but there's only 2 sessions left (I was allocated 6 free through work). I didn't have a lot of time off after the funeral, as I'd spent a lot of time away from work, caring for mum.
I look unprofessional and I'm not keeping on top of things, in many ways I just don't give a damn, but unfortunately I NEED to be there, keep working, earning something. I am paid on commission, and sometimes 4 months in arrears, and my pay has been rubbish this last 3 months because I'd not been there to sell in Q4 of last year.
Thanks for reading this far. I'm sorry this is so long. My question is, do you think would antidepressants help me? I have resisted any assistance, because my feelings are all NORMAL. My GP has offered, but I thought it would be better to try to work through my grief and try to find the new normal and just keep my head down. Fake it until I make it. Now I feel like I'm in a dark hole and it's getting deeper.
The counsellor had me fill in the sheet for depression/anxiety and apparently I have both. I know I am anxious - about little things that wouldn't be an issue to me in real life - especially driving, for some reason. If I didn't have to get up for my husband and my daughter and my job every day, I wouldn't even leave the house. Nothing feels right, but that's normal? Right?
Thanks in advance, hopefully. Even if no one replies, it's been good to type this.
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Mental health
Am I depressed?
6 replies
jbee1979 · 08/03/2017 21:37
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