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Need help and no-one gives a shit

(71 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

BBCNewsRave Sat 04-Mar-17 22:26:32

the crisis team will basically let me die.
I'm so sad, I've tried for so long. Just wish someone cared. Have dealt with so much but can't keep going with zero support. Not even a friend to call right now. it's all i have been able to do to get this far, no energy to fight services trying to get help and be treated like scum. They make me feel worse. I asked for help before it was this bad. i would give anything just to have someone to have a cup of tea with or something. No one cares, i dont matter

user1470064958 Sat 04-Mar-17 22:29:46

You do matter!! Please speak to the samaritans or mind and they can help you more. Your GP should be able to provide help and point you in the direction of some local support groups where hopefully you could meet new people. Take care xx

BBCNewsRave Sat 04-Mar-17 22:30:17

i do sp, so much, to keep pushing myself every day, to try to smile and be happy and enjoy things. but the bottom line is i am in pain and totally utterly alone, for so long.

BBCNewsRave Sat 04-Mar-17 22:32:21

my gp doesnt give a shit either. Just asks what do you expect us to do. Thats what they all say. they cant make it better
I have tried all these things for YEARS, why do people have such faith in a system where there is nothing?

BBCNewsRave Sat 04-Mar-17 22:33:13

there must be something utterly inadequate about me, if everyone else gets help. the bottom line is I can die and they just do not give a shit so they wont provide any help

MusicToMyEars800 Sat 04-Mar-17 22:39:05

I care and will listen to you if you need to talk or unload! you can message me if you want and we can have a virtual brew please take care of yourself OP.

RandomMess Sat 04-Mar-17 22:39:46

Perhaps you live in the same are as me, the support just seems non-existent!

I'm sorry I can't help, I can't even type out all the platitudes I've heard over the years...

flowers

BBCNewsRave Sat 04-Mar-17 23:03:25

other people have friends or family at least. Would make so much difference to me to have someone who cared and didnt want to use me, but i dont. im expected to keep happy all on my own resources, against all odds, and i just ran out of it

LevantineHummus Sat 04-Mar-17 23:09:12

BBC I think you had a thread not long ago. I started commenting on it then decided I didn't have anything useful today. I still don't really, but I wanted you to know that since then I've been thinking about you. I told someone in RL about you too and how terrible and ridiculous it is that you can't have therapy because your case is too complex (for regular CBT type therapy) and there's essentially no funding for what you need. I've been trying to think of solutions, or things that could help, but I haven't got any I'm afraid, or I'd have pm'd you.

But there is somebody who cares, even if they're far away.

LevantineHummus Sat 04-Mar-17 23:09:49

* to say

BevGoldbergsSister Sat 04-Mar-17 23:20:46

It isnt just you OP mental health services are utterly dire.

What are you doing tonight are you alone or with children? Will you be able to sleep? I know when I had depression nights were the worst times and I had to plan things to keep myself busy, even if it was just watching box sets and trying to do something nice for myself, something daft like painting my nails or a face mask.

shitgibbon Sat 04-Mar-17 23:51:46

Mental health services SUCK. It is NOT your fault. You're not not getting help because there's something inherently wrong with you, you're not getting help because the providers are either non-existent or overworked or undertrained. It's. Not. Because. Of. You. I'm pushing that point because it is critical for your health and wellbeing that you recognize that your struggles in getting help do not in any way reflect on you as a person or your worthiness for help and happiness.

Angryangryyoungwoman Sun 05-Mar-17 00:04:55

You do matter. You matter to me and I don't know you. Keep going love.

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:08:48

I told them how bad it was, how I felt. They just said "thanks for phoning". It just compounds feeling so utterly worthless. I don't understand why others get help and I don't. I met someone in a support group who regularly walks out of therapy and things and I wanted to fucking shake her and say you have no idea how lucky you are!!! Why does she get help and I dont?

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:10:17

I'd give anything just to have some friends irl I could just...be with. It seems so impossible. There's always someone in any group who doesn't want me around. I'm a drifter, I make u the crowd scenes, I dont belong. When I have belonged, people move, or get weird insanely jealous partners hmm, or whatever.

HelenaGWells Sun 05-Mar-17 00:17:10

I understand those feels. I'm another always on the outside looking in. Have you called the samaritans? They can be a huge help. I don't know your situation but know I am thinking about you and I wish I could offer more constructive advice. Please be kind to yourself. It isn't your fault that you are struggling and the system is failing you. It's a reflection of the postcode lottery our NHS has become.

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:17:14

thank you all
Im really hoping it will pass
It doesn't seem possible

MusicToMyEars800 Sun 05-Mar-17 00:18:13

just wanted to let you know again, that you do matter!! and I will be here if you need support or need to talk, I have been through and still struggle with serious mental health issues myself, so I can relate to how you are feeling.

HelenaGWells Sun 05-Mar-17 00:20:31

Are you on any kind of medication right now? I've needed meds to get through the worst and some of them made things worse before they got better. Please keep pushing for support. Is there a different gp? A crisis team? A mental health service you can self refer to? We have a wellbeing team, do you have anything like that? Google mental health services your area. There may be things you don't know about because your gp is useless.

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:21:08

thing is the NHS rejected me before things got this bad. I was always seen as a "bad" person, not a "sad" person.
I could manage if I only had a few people who loved me

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:25:27

sadly I have explored all avenues. Even been referred in/marked as "vulnerable" by police. Also by physical health side of things. Everyone else has tried, it's just the people who could help, wont. I think it might be too late now anyway... if they'd helped years ago I'd have had a chance to make some good friends by now, it's too late now everyone is shrinking their social circle

BBCNewsRave Sun 05-Mar-17 00:27:30

I'm not on meds; not found them helpful.

Unfortunately the head of CMHT really had it in for me (not sure why but observed by others too) a few years ago and has somehow stitched it up so I can never get help... evn though she's not head any more.

MusicToMyEars800 Sun 05-Mar-17 00:28:59

OP, I know how you feel I wish I could help in some way? I am like you in the friends department... I am just very good at outing a face on and being a good actress, even though I have an OH nd 2 dcs I still feel like I am alone, as I don't feel like I can ever be truly myself and express my true feelings and thoughts.

MusicToMyEars800 Sun 05-Mar-17 00:30:43

where I live had good mental health services, or so I've heard.. I've not dealt with them for years! where are you based? do you mind me asking? I understand if you don't want to reveal that information.

Itisnoteasybeingdifferent Sun 05-Mar-17 06:07:55

I get really angry when I see this.
A couple of days back there was a long rant by someone about being called fat. She accepts she is fat. And as a fat person she will need treatment for all the fat induced illnesses like type II diabetes that beset fat people. Thus the NHS spends money of treating fat people and unfortunate people who did nothing to cause their condition like BBC go without.

BBC, it is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You are just unfortunate.

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