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Losing the plot

(2 Posts)
RentANDBills Tue 21-Feb-17 08:11:01

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post this.

I had a spat with DP this morning over something stupid (he flinched away when I tried to get a stray hair from his forehead and did it again with a "didn't you get the hint last time?!" When I tried to do it again after explaining).
I ended up leaving for work early (normally we leave together) and may have told him to fuck off as he kept on saying patronisingly that "youjob see how much your over reacting when I calm down"

I rarely lose my temper and it was over something so stupid.
I was stood at the bus stop worrying about how much I dislike him at the moment and realised that I seem to dislike EVERYTHING these days.
I hate my job (Nanny) and struggle to have the patience to look after a baby, and find myself disliking him. I hate my boss who has been nit-picky and nagging and has not gone back to work when she should.
When I think about quitting,I can't think of anything I'd like to do as an alternative because I know I'll hate that too.
My hobbies are frustrating at the moment, I'm studying with the OU and I hate that too. I run a small business on the side and, you've guessed it,at the moment I hate it.
I don't want to interact with anyone because I'll get super anxious about doing something wrong.
DP has only just gone back to work after 7 months of "job hunting" which involved staying at home and not really applying for jobs and whinging about being at home all day whilst I went out to a job I hated for 50 hours a week the salary of which only covered 90% of our outgoings, accumulating credit card debt for the rest.
He started a job two weeks ago and now whinges about how tired he is, and ill he feels and how he is under paid and works really hard.
The apartment is a tip and neither of us really have the time to clean it.

I feel so miserable and guilty as we're young (late twenties) and living in Central London and should be having loads of fun and saving for the future and I'm just unhappy and anxious and wasting time.

Sorry for the epic saga, I just want to curl up in a ball somewhere and just stop existing.

AnxiousCarer Tue 21-Feb-17 17:43:09

Hi, it sounds like things are tough at the moment. I know how stressful I find it when DH has been out of work and We've been in the same sort of financial situation as you. As everything is feeling hard I wonder if a trip to the GP is in order. You could be depressed as a culmination of all the stress. Do you do anything judt for you? I find that really important for my MH. I find exercise and meditation and mindfulness helpful. I always seem to have a better day when I meditate before work for 10 mins. I used an app called headspace initially which was useful. I tend to do it on the bus on the way to work.

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