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Anyone been pushed away from a partner from depressio?

(3 Posts)
Katematshall46 Sat 18-Feb-17 12:04:27

Was with my partner for nearly a year, a very happy wonderful
Year. We were talking about buying a house together at the end of this year and living our lives together for ever. My daughter loves him and his 11 year old daughter and saw him as a father figure.
One night about 5 weeks ago he was a bit quiet and asked if he was ok. With that he told me he had been thinking sound about us over the last 6 weeks. Something in his head was telling him it wasn't right. Anyway after a few days he decided the best thing we should do is break up. He loved me and wanted me but he just couldn't get it out of his head. That was Thursday by Sunday night we got back together. He said he missed me and loved me and he made the wrong dessision. Within a week he completely withdrew from everyone. He stayed away saying he needed space wilhich I gave him. Then he said he couldn't do this anymore. He was deppresed. He hated his life, he didn't want to be with me or anyone and wanted to be on his own. He wasn't a nice person anymore and he was very angry at the world. That was three weeks ago. I'm devastated, he is my everything. He loves me and my daughter and said it wasn't our relationship but him. He's only replied to my tex, I understand he's ill and he's gone to the Drs and got tablets and having therapy two of the things he didn't want to do but he has to change something. Iv asked him if we can be friends at least. After near on a year together I can my just forget him and he just said he needs to be on his own and alone he didn't even answer the question really. What the hell do I do? I love this man, my daughter love him. She constantly asked why she can't see or speak to him it's heartbreaking. I can't sleep, I'm not eating properly, I don't want to go out or see anyone. I thought I had met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with To grow old with and now I dont even want to be here tomorrow without him let alone the rest of my life. Yes I know that sounds selfish but it's how I'm feeling. I can't get my head around it. Iv been to the Drs and have been given tablets but they make me feel drunk so I'm not taking them.
I feel so lost without him, I don't know what to do. Is there anyone who has been through this that could help at all?

loinnir Sat 18-Feb-17 16:36:08

The general discussion forum and archives are full of people going througha similar situation to you. There are also books by Anne Sheffield which inspired the site if you want to read about dealing with the "fallout" of being involved with someone suffering depression.

Look to yourself and your DC - concentrate your energies on that. It is really great that your DP is seeking treatment - that is a massive step. It may not feel like it but it is probably for the best that he stays seperate whilst he is in such a bad state.He probably does not have the mental capacity to cope with putting on a "brave face" for you and your DC. Let him know you are there for him if he needs any help and that you care about him but let him concentrate on trying to fix himself.

AnxiousCarer Sat 18-Feb-17 17:24:14

I've been through similar in the past when my DHs MH had been bad. As loinnir said, focusing on looking after yourself and your daughter is the best thing to do right now. You can keep letting him know you care and are there for him, maybe the odd text but focus on your own MH and getting in the best place you can be for you. That way you are in the best place to support him if he comes back, or in the best place for moving forwards if ge doesn't.

As for the tablets they can make you feel a bit odd to start with but it normally wears off after the first couple of weeks and then you start to feel the benefit.

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