I need help understanding what happened after my DS was born

[nappyrat]

Don't think I had PND, but god something was going on.

I bonded with DS, but almost excessively. I suffered massively with sleep deprivation, found life very difficult to handle. Was quite paranoid, down, but then elated some days, too.

My partner and I split up, partly due to all of this. I was unable to return to work and ended up feeling I had no option but to leave my own business which I had run for 7 years.

I am slowly starting to feel like I am emerging from this period of my life now - 3.5 yrs on. But I am struggling to move on relationship-wise, because I think I still love my partner, although it seems like so much horrendous stuff happened between us that I could never go back there. Basically, there is a lot of stuff that happened which i do not understand, was it me, was I ill, was it him.

I would dearly love some help understanding what happened to me after DS was born. I have no experience of mental health issues, and am just so confused. I would really like to get some clarity on what happened, and wondered if anyone can hep point me in any direction.

Thanks.

[Casmama]

Do you have close friends or family who have a view on what happened? Did they have concerns about your mental health?