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(3 Posts)
BBCNewsRave Thu 16-Feb-17 19:10:01

Bit of a weird question, but I'm wondering about neurolinguistic programming. An abusive ex secretly had a qualification in it. I found out after we'd split up. It's just bothering me that he may have used techniques he'd learnt on me in a negative way. Sorry if it's a daft question, I'm not even sure if it's possible. It's a long time ago now, I'm not in distress from what happened, nothing like that.... just wondering.
Just wondered if anyone knew anything about it really.

johendy Thu 16-Feb-17 19:21:42

I've voluntered with an organisation where many of the 'senior' volunteers were heavily NLP qualified. I also started to qualify myself. In my view NLP is very powerful when used in the right way. But I have felt NLP'd in a negative way on occasion. I guess is like any technique that influences how people think, feel or interact, it can be very influential, and relies on the user to be ethical and use it for a positive outcome (for both parties, not just their own !)

AnxiousCarer Thu 16-Feb-17 19:56:38

I have some nlp qualificatons, and the trainer I had refused to do training for comercial organisations, call centres, etc. as he didn't think it was ethical to use it to boost sales. I suppose like any tool it can be misused. I would think that similar to hypnosis you couldn't force anyone to do anything they were completely against, but I suppose you could use your understanding of how people think, communication and raport to your own advantage.

I recently had some nlp myself for PTSD and when I asked why the techneques I had tried myself had not been sucessful he told me that our brains won't allow themselves to be influenced by the techneques in a way that is unhelpful to them. So I couldn't get rid of the traumatic memories because my brain felt it might need them avoid that situation happening again. He used a different techneque to help me process the trauma instead. So I still have the memories but without the overwhelming negative emotions that were causing the PTSD.

So I think maybe he could have used the nlp to appear charming and maybe even to influence your feelings towards him, but not to do any major damage to your mind. Though him being an abusive dick has probably left its mark.

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