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Bit of a mess

(5 Posts)
Downbutnotyetout Mon 13-Feb-17 09:03:05

I am as the title says. There is a lot in here and I'm not entirely sure what I am asking, so please bear with me....
I was pregnant last year and had to terminate the pregnancy for medical reasons at the start of the second trimester. It was a long, drawn out, hideous process and we have just had final genetic test results back and in theory have the all clear to start again. But since then I have become scared of everything. I can see the worst case scenario in literally everything, and I go from zero to disaster almost immediately. It's particularly an issue with health issues, for example my DD3 has had a persistent bout of oral thrush since she had antibiotics last Autumn. DH took her to a Crappy locum doctor who said he had no idea what it was but it might be a weakened immune system from HIV or cancer. We then took her to a better doctor who said it was probably gut related but to treat for 2-3 weeks and come back for a stool sample if it doesn't clear. But I can't shake what the initial doctor said and have serious anxiety about it. Although my rational brain says it is probably fine, having been the 1: whatever who had to terminate, I feel like I can always be the 1. Logic doesn't matter anymore, because I have lived and am living the unlikely scenario. I am obsessive about checking to see if the thrush has gone, sometimes 2-3 times a day. But I am petrified about it being back because of the contact with doctors it will involve. I know I am probably being irrational, but that isn't enough to stop my irrational thoughts.

I got referred to a psychological at work the other day because of a particularly stressful (unrelated) incident I am involved in, and everything came out. I cried a lot. I have only taken 1 day off since the day I left hospital after the termination and the psychologist rang me today to say I should consider time off. But I don't want to take time off. I don't want work to know what has caused these issues and I don't want to have days or weeks at a time sat around at home thinking about what happened as I don't think that will help me.
So if I don't want time off, and I have now started to see a psychologist, what else can I do to help healing and to stop feeling like this every day? I sometimes feel like only time will get me there but I can't create that, so what can I do?
Thanks for reading...

UnbornMortificado Mon 13-Feb-17 09:06:18

Down sorry your feeling so low. Are you on any medication?

I'm not a doctor and no one can really Internet diagnose on here but you do sound quite anxious.

Downbutnotyetout Mon 13-Feb-17 09:43:57

Yes I think that is probably an accurate assessment! I think that is probably a better articulation of what I am trying to ask - how do I deal with my high levels of anxiety? Is medication the only option? And how long might it take to recover (or at least to function more normally) after this kind of 'episode'

UnbornMortificado Mon 13-Feb-17 09:59:55

I'm a fan of medication although a lot of people aren't.

Anxiety is usually dealt with by antidepressants, some of which are target anxiety more then depression.

benzodiazepines used to be used commonly but they aren't anymore apart from very short term for serious issues. They are very effective but can be addictive so they aren't used anymore.

For physical symptoms a beta blocker can be prescribed it deals with the physical symptoms but not the mental ones.

There is also therapy and CBT is quite a popular option. I have no experience with them but hopefully some other posters may.

Anxiety is horrible, I have bipolar and in the past I have had PTSD. I personally consider the anxiety I've suffered worse then the two put together. You have my sympathy it can be bloody crippling.

(I'm not a doctor, the medications listed are just my personal experiences)

UnbornMortificado Mon 13-Feb-17 11:44:27

I'll give you a bump.

That is a general MH support thread you might get some better information on CBT and other options on there.

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