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Counselling - how do you know if it's helping?

(17 Posts)
Misty9 Sun 12-Feb-17 23:40:06

Just that really. I'm currently having person centred counselling and it's very different to what I'm used to (I'm a therapist) and I'm finding it hard to know if it's helping.

How do you know when counselling is helpful to you?

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 23:42:54

You're a therapist and you're having counselling? I've always wondered this - if therapists have their own therapists.

Misty9 Sun 12-Feb-17 23:48:15

Yep. It's a requirement for most therapeutic approaches to have therapy whilst training. Not for mine but it should be imo. We're human too grin

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 23:51:56

Oh I see, didn't realise it was a requirement. Re human too: yes, obviously, just didn't know if it was common that's all.

Newbluetattoo Sun 12-Feb-17 23:55:28

I had person centred counselling for a long time. I found that the changes were really subtle, and it was a bit frustrating at times, but there was something about it that kept me going back.
In the long run, it was by far my favourite of the different approaches I tried ( gestalt, and psychodynamic/ integrative), but actually I don't know if it was more because of the therapist rather than the approach.
Try not to overthink it. I'd say if it feels right (even if you don't know why), stick with it. If not, maybe give it a few more sessions and if it's not suiting you, try someone else.

BoboChic Sun 12-Feb-17 23:55:56

I had CBT about 15 years ago. It helped at the time in that I was able to let go of bad feeling. It worked, in that I felt better.

However, it did not tackle the root cause of the issues that had traumatized me and, with hindsight, this was really terrible. I would have done some things very differently indeed had I worked out then what I have worked out since.

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 23:59:32

Bobochic in what way would you have done things differently? I have promised my family I will have counselling this year but not sure what type to try and where to start. Was thinking about going NHS but knowing the pressure they are under not sure i feel comfortable asking my gp for a referral or how long it will take. I did try counselling once a few years ago but found it exhausting and wound up being sectioned for a short while because they decided i was going to kill myself - which i wasn't. So needless to say: now very reluctant to tell any therapist exactly what is in my head.

Misty9 Mon 13-Feb-17 00:03:05

newblue interesting, thank you for sharing your experience. Overthink things? Moi? wink we get on and the therapeutic relationship is the most important aspect over and above the approach, I'm just not sure if it's making any difference. And it's odd not having someone give their comment on things...

missbohan sorry, I was just being jokey. Personally I'm not very good at admitting I'm human!

BoboChic Mon 13-Feb-17 00:03:50

I blamed myself for unpleasant things which I now know were completely beyond my control. The CBT ended intrusive thinking about those unpleasant things so that I could ostensibly carry in with my life but because I hadn't worked out that I wasn't to blame I couldn't revisit those times properly and sort out things that would have enabled me to negotiate a better deal for myself.

BoboChic Mon 13-Feb-17 00:05:02

TBH an NHS Counsellor will never have the time to address big issues.

Misty9 Mon 13-Feb-17 00:05:16

And I definitely know I don't want cbt! It has a place but not what I need for this.

Missbohan that sounds terrifying, and I'm not surprised you don't feel confident to confide after that experience.

Missbohan Mon 13-Feb-17 00:05:54

So cbt enables you to move forward but doesn't always resolve things fully? I feel like cbt might be enough for me for not but not sure

BoboChic Mon 13-Feb-17 00:06:55

Yes. Obviously sometimes it is not the time or place to examine problems in great detail.

Missbohan Mon 13-Feb-17 00:08:17

Yes I hear you - I don't think I will go down the NHS route. Not if my last experience if anything is to go by - didn't need to be sectioned before ffs.

Newbluetattoo Mon 13-Feb-17 00:08:33

Erm, suspect I was projecting my tendency to overthink absolutely everything in the whole wide world onto you there OPwink

Misty9 Mon 13-Feb-17 00:09:39

I think cbt is good if you have a particular goal in mind and can work towards it with support. For more amorphous and interpersonal issues with complex histories, I think it lacks something.

Missbohan Mon 13-Feb-17 00:13:18

Thank you misty9. Useful info x

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