I have a diagnosis of C-PTSD from being sexually abused as a child. It is often under control but sometimes will get worse with little warning. This is one of these times.
When I don't feel safe I tend to run away from situations. I moved to the US for DH's job last year and haven't been as settled or happy as I thought I would be.
Since Christmas I've been looking for work. I now only work part time because I know the PTSD (intrusive thoughts, racing heart, no sleep, nightmares, flashbacks etc) get really bad when I work full-time. Makes me feel weak to say but true.
Started a job this week. Well within my capabilities. Think entry-level, but I've got 6 years experience working and an MA. And I freaked out this morning and told them I'm not going back.
No-one did anything wrong. The line manager told me I would have to be up to scratch today and she'd be watching and I got scared I think. There was an incident in a club on Friday where a guy assaulted me and I got thrown out and I think this might be been a trigger
DH has walked out. He is furious and I understand why. I've done this before with jobs, my brain has got overwhelmed and panicked. He is so successful and I'm just nothing, career-wise. Before we left the UK I had a job I loved and leaving it was so hard.
I don't know what to do. Therapy and doctors are expensive here and I don't want to be unwell again.
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Mental health
Self-sabotaging muddle
23 replies
VodkaLimeSoda27 · 09/02/2017 16:41
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