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I need a mate

(17 Posts)
NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 09:09:03

I'm having therapy and will be starting the proper intensive work soon. It's hard, scary and exhausting but the therapist is lovely. I feel safe with her and I liked her instantly. I'm learning lots about why certain people have had such an affect on me and why everyone has influenced me so intensively and I've been crying since last night when one of them doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

I'm learning that I talk rather than cry as I don't want to feel. I'm learning my body reacts when something important happens and part of it is that while X happened years ago my body doesn't know that.

I have two huge things to deal with. One I need to get over and want too one I have faith I never will.

I'm physically unwell at the moment too and awaiting tests and today I feel like I want it to be my last.

Will someone please just tell me I'm not losing my mind and this is all normal.

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 12:28:38

This is a quiet board. Good in some ways. Hard though too.

thewideeyedpea Wed 08-Feb-17 12:38:47

Hi, I have no experience of this but just wanted to say hello and that I'm sure someone will be along soon with great advice. flowers

MistressMerryWeather Wed 08-Feb-17 12:55:24

Yes, these boards do get very quiet during the day.

I can't say if I will be much help but I would be more than happy just to chat about things.

What are you up too now?

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 13:21:40

Thank you both of you flowers.

What I'm doing now is avoiding taking my dog out while watching loose women and crying. they are talking about childhood sexual abuse

Have to pick the kids up and dreading it as they all saw my cry last night. I feel awful they did even though they don't know why.

MistressMerryWeather Wed 08-Feb-17 13:27:37

It's really not the worst thing in the world for children to see you cry.

Can I ask how old they are?

Whenever DS1 has seen me cry I just explain that I'm feeling sad and that it's OK to cry when you feel like that.

It can be a good thing for them to learn that showing emotions is healthy and that you are human so don't beat yourself up about that.

MistressMerryWeather Wed 08-Feb-17 13:28:34

Oh, and on a more lighthearted note, turn off loose women.

It's a pile of shite and would make anyone cry. grin

Ilovecaindingle Wed 08-Feb-17 13:34:09

I am glad you have a dog - they are the ears that are a blessing when things are shit. .
As an only child my dog was my everything. . Always there and never let you down. . Try hard to get out on that walk and enjoy the company. . No words needed if you don't feel like talking but company all the same. Time out with my dogs does wonders on a stressful day. . Don't be hard on yourself xx

HelenaGWells Wed 08-Feb-17 13:35:51

Find something lighthearted to watch. My kids have seen me cry. I do the same as a pp and just tell them I feel a bit sad and it's ok to cry when you are sad.

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 13:37:26

The kids are 11-15 and haven't really seen me cry. I said I couldn't tell them why but they didn't need to worry.

LW was serious today. Dh just rang and I just sobbed done the phone. He's three hours away.

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 13:38:01

I don't feel I can take her out. If anyone even says hello I'll cry

laurzj82 Wed 08-Feb-17 13:44:32

Make yourself go. It may make you feel better. Have you got any earphones you can pop in so you don't have to talk to anyone? flowers

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 13:46:34

Wish it was sunny. Best thing about summer is being able to hide behind sunglasses. I may have headphones and it would be okay as long as it's not anyone I've met and chatted with before. Puppy still asleep.

fallenempires Wed 08-Feb-17 15:35:17

You sound very overloaded.I can fully appreciate the overwhelming feelings of sadness when things are outside of your control.flowers

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 15:57:32

We did the walk. Luckily I was okay though ddog would have liked more off lead time. Dh will be home in two hours after being away and while I've cried a lot today it hasn't scared me like it has done for decades previously. I just wish I could see my therapist next week. and was stronger

thewideeyedpea Wed 08-Feb-17 18:27:27

Well done for getting out and doing the dog walk. Hope you are feeling ok and for what it's worth I think you are really strong.

NewPuppyMum Wed 08-Feb-17 19:50:50

I'm so tired. Dh home but it was difficult.

Puppy likes her new toy and is happy. Planning on a Grey's Anatomy and an early night. Went to bed after midnight and was up at five so I'm knackered.

Thank you. I can't decide if I'm strong or just a mug who doesn't give consequences for bad treatment.

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