I'm having therapy and will be starting the proper intensive work soon. It's hard, scary and exhausting but the therapist is lovely. I feel safe with her and I liked her instantly. I'm learning lots about why certain people have had such an affect on me and why everyone has influenced me so intensively and I've been crying since last night when one of them doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
I'm learning that I talk rather than cry as I don't want to feel. I'm learning my body reacts when something important happens and part of it is that while X happened years ago my body doesn't know that.
I have two huge things to deal with. One I need to get over and want too one I have faith I never will.
I'm physically unwell at the moment too and awaiting tests and today I feel like I want it to be my last.
Will someone please just tell me I'm not losing my mind and this is all normal.
I am glad you have a dog - they are the ears that are a blessing when things are shit. . As an only child my dog was my everything. . Always there and never let you down. . Try hard to get out on that walk and enjoy the company. . No words needed if you don't feel like talking but company all the same. Time out with my dogs does wonders on a stressful day. . Don't be hard on yourself xx
Wish it was sunny. Best thing about summer is being able to hide behind sunglasses. I may have headphones and it would be okay as long as it's not anyone I've met and chatted with before. Puppy still asleep.
We did the walk. Luckily I was okay though ddog would have liked more off lead time. Dh will be home in two hours after being away and while I've cried a lot today it hasn't scared me like it has done for decades previously. I just wish I could see my therapist next week. and was stronger